reckless abandon

PA RUM PA PUM PUM

2011-12-22T08:54:00.001-08:00

I've always felt that God has had a special ministry within my Ministry for me to preach about joy. Pretty much when the opportunity arises for me to preach joy I do. I have lots of pet verses that I go to all the time. At present were in the season of Advent which is a penitential season but still holds great joy.

As much as I beat the drum for a joyful life committed to Jesus Christ more than every once in a while I'm less than joyful and it bugs the Crud out of me. It makes me feel like a hypocrite and that I have no business preaching on Joy. Yesterday I celebrated the 30th anniversary of when I asked my wife JoAnn to be my girlfriend. I was 17 she was Almost 16. now, that should bring great joy right? and it did. But when we got home from an awesome day of enjoying each other's company there was a letter from the County saying there'd been a formal complaint against us regarding our dog barking excessively.

I really did my best not to allow that to steal the joy of the whole day. I feel badly when I disappoint people. I suppose it's about approval but I'd like to think it's about more than that. I want to treat everyone with respect, and I don't want my life to impinge on others and cause pain. It upsets me when I'm upset someone else. I do tend to obsess on things and allow things like that notice from the the county to invade too much of my life. So in an attempt to remain joyful I began to think about Christmas.

When I was with Joanne yesterday we did a little Christmas shopping and it was fun. I was reflecting on that time with Joanne and started really thinking about what I want to give to Jesus as a birthday present. all kinds of things went through my head - to be a better husband and father, To be a more dedicated priest and pastor, to really concentrate on practicing being in God's presence all the time even doing the most mundane of things like washing the dishes for cleaning a toilet. For some reason I was unsatisfied with all these things and became a little frustrated with myself. So I left those thoughts till morning. My wife JoAnn's shared with me a story about a man in orange County, Who paid off thousands of dollars in layaway debt at his local Walmart for total strangers. I thought to myself what a wonderful gift to absolute strangers and to Jesus. This guy gets it. Again I became frustrated with myself. What do I want to give Jesus for his birthday and for that matter what do I want to give them every day that I live and breath ,he deserves the very best and unfortunately I feel that I fall short.

For no reason at all, I started to think about the lyrics of that Christmas song, you know” Little drummer boy”. There is a line that says ” I played my best for him”. That's what I wanted to is play my best for him. Again I began to be frustrated because when I think I'm doing my best I'm getting letters in the mail telling me I can't control my dog or people are leaving the church or dozens of people who say that they are coming to church never come. what the kind of best is that?

In the midst of my frustration I had forgotten about the following line in the song “and he smiled at me”. The baby Jesus smiled at the Little drummer boy after the little drummer boy had played his best. Nowhere in the lyrics of the songs that say that the little drummer boy played well. Didn't say that he was the drummer for The Who or won Grammys or pleased everyone in the room. It simply says that that little drummer boy played his best at that moment that little baby who was the Savior and is the Savior of the world. the lyrics do not grade is playing. I've always assumed that the little drummer boy was the best drummer in the world but it doesn't say that.

I really want Jesus to smile and hope he does. Like so many people I get wrapped up in my failures but I have to believe that Jesus sees my heart. And my desire to do my best. My life hasn't been filled with a lot of apparent successes lately very few small victories that I can see. This is where I have to dig in and know that I serve a God who loves me despite my many failures and even sins.

if my story hits home for you allow me to encourage you. Psalm 16 says that the presence of God is the fullness of joy. You know intellectually that God is ever present–then so is joy, ever present that is. In studying joy in the Scriptures it seems that joy thrives and exists in the environment of contentment and not one of wanting. Joy exists when we know that everything we have is provided by God as well as everything we need and will needs.

Go and do your best in Jesus will smile upon it. I absolutely believe it

Going big making Jesus smile.

And by the way I didn't type this entry I dictated it into a Dragon thing–some kind of software for the typing impaired. So it's a little worried–forgive me.

46 YEARS ON THE PLANET !

2010-09-16T08:33:00.000-07:00

What a life God has given me. I will rejoice and be glad in it !

Thank you Jesus. Day by day I need you more and more.

Have mercy on me a sinner saved by your grace. And you do !

Good Grief

2010-09-14T10:23:00.001-07:00

Grief. A period of sadness due to a loss (normally). Can that ever be good. YES! Very good. In 2Samuel 12 David grieves very differently than most of us. Many of us get stuck because we really refuse to accept the loss. David fasted and cried out to God while his ill child was still alive but once the child died he stopped and fully accepted the loss and went to comfort his wife.

By no means am I trying to say that David's grieving process should be the standard but I believe that we can learn something from his process.

I have been grieving loss in my life for 9 months. Just recently have I realized that I was stuck in the grief and hadn't accepted the loss. In my heart I was saying "this didn't happen-it shouldn't have happened- It's all my fault". This is no where close to being a healthy grief process. It did happen and I probably had a great deal to with it happening. When I think about these things I still get a bit sad but full acceptance of the loss has helped me move in to new parts of my life that the holy Spirit is leading me. Grief has finally become good to me.

For those of you who grieve today I pray that you never stop rejoicing in the Lord Jesus. That is what saved me from really going nuts in my grief.

Grieve well!

Gone Fishin'

2010-09-13T07:35:00.001-07:00

Not really goin' fishin' today but I'm trying to harbor that frame of mind. Clergy types are probably the worst violators of keeping the sabbath. I have become very aware that I don't know how to rest. Even when I plan a restful event I tend to make it an arduous task. NO MORE SAYS I! For my spirituality, health and sanity I need to learn to rest. I see that in the gospels Jesus seemed to have the ability to rest when the storm as raging about him. I WANT THAT ! How could he rest in the midst of turmoil? Of course being divine helps but I believe gospels show Jesus emptied out and totally human with the ability and perhaps proclivity for anxiety yet he did not enter in. I on the other hand waltz straight through the gates of the anxiety theme park. I take a spin on the worry cups then board many of the drama roller coasters. Then to take a break I comfort myself with food and drink which only comforts me as long as it takes me to remember how bad this is for my health. Then I immediately board the Tilt-a-whirl fueled by anxiety. Sound familiar ? Most of us do this in way or another.

Well , I WANT TO BE DONE WITH THIS NONSENSE.

Cell phone is off today because I am off today.

Prayer is my thing today because I finally see it as a restful time with God rather then a duty.

I am gonna care for my wife actively today because it gives me joy to give her joy.

I'm gonna perform some magic tricks for absolute strangers in hopes of making someone smile.

I'm might even take a nap after a long walk by the lake.

TODAY IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE I WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT.

I tell ya how I did tomorrow.

Resting BIG - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

2010-09-11T10:37:00.000-07:00

Back to the blogspere after one years absence. And what a year it has been.

Got back from S.D.

Still spinning from personnel probs at church

Start work as hospital chaplain (They pay me in money - how peculiar)

Personnel probs apparently get better.

Extended Family in major crisis

Personal finances in the toilet

Church personnel abdication

Missing those who left nearly breaks me as I feel responsible (kinda get over it)

Almost lose daughter #2 because of surgical error (3 scary months and she's still not 100%)

I'm leaving 2 dozen cruddy things out of the list just because it's daunting.

During the last year I have learned a great deal about myself through God's chastening.

For a while I couldn't see much to like in myself but if Jesus was willing to die for me I gotta be worth something. Then came God's consolation- IT'S NOT ABOUT ME ! it's not about the things I suffer - It's about still being able to love God and others joyfully while going through a desolate period. I'M LEARNING !

Come with me on the journey - a simple life of loving and denying self - not so simple

GOING BIG

To Dakota and Back with Dad #4

2009-08-24T14:41:00.000-07:00

I started reading a book called "Sacred Romance". It talks about intimacy with God in very profound way in how we all have adulterous moments (some more than others) in our relationship with God. Intimacy is dangerous period as it requires being known which requires being transparent and vulnerable. ICK! I am finding that as I gain intimacy with it translating to more meaningful and intimate (not sexual) realation with others in the body of Christ. I see that especially in my realationship with Dad. I always felt that I had to create this person for my dad to be proud of as I find that God loves me with all my flaws I also find that so does Dad. As God becomes my everything and one might think that there would be room for earthly relationships I find my earthly deepening and becoming more numerous.
Here South Dakota the presence of God seems blaring. The pace and lack of distraction seems to help me listen Him better.
Going Big and going home wednesday

To Dakota and Back with Dad #3

2009-08-22T06:14:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delay in Blog entries. Just figured out how to get the internet here in Timber Lake S.D. (not really a lake and no timber- it's on the prairie). I see God in so many ways. I came here with Dad to help Aunt Emily (90 YEARS OLD - climbed up on the roof last fall to patch the roof).
My aunt has taught me what a life of faith and works looks life and how it blesses everyone around. My dad seems so vibrant here. He is being a good son to Aunt Emily. Yes son. Genetically just his aunt. They have awesome relationship. My dad has taught me that loving someone means more than just uttering words and bible verses (I'm good at that). It means being present and sometimes fixing a toilet.
Going soooo BIG-

Dakota and Back with Dad #2

2009-08-18T23:19:00.000-07:00

Again , Dad is talking to me as I write this. He lecturing me about morality and taxes right now.
Today was awesome. Except for breakfast. I learned that I am becoming way too much like my dad. Actually not all bad.
On a spiritual note: God is soooo good. Many people in the parish I serve are going through emotional and spiritual hardships. But God is assuring me that the work He has began He will complete BECAUSE HE IS FAITHFUL! Sooooo good. If you are reading this and you are going through stuff - I love you and am praying for but God the Father the Son and the Holy Spirit loves you more than I ever could - he is helping and healing- NEVER GIVE UP!

OK - About breakfast. Biscuits and gravy is an American institution and there should be federal laws to control who prepares this delicacy. The folks at a certain restaurant in Rawlings Wyoming need to be stopped. I think there was nutmeg in the sausage gravy some where mixed in amongst the pooling rendered animal fat. But the lady was sooo nice - really. I couldn't tell her that she was disgracing America. I ate it all and am still tasting it 14 hours later. Did I tell you that it was taupe in color and not the traditional off white of most country gravies. Maybe they are not from America. I know I'm nuts and that I make way too much of things. Hey but I had some killer Bison Chili later.
Going Big on the Prairie.
Keep praying

To Dakota and Back with Dad #1

2009-08-17T21:41:00.000-07:00

I am on a road trip with my dad to South Dakota. We were on the road at 4:30am. I immediately took a nap (uh- I wasn't driving). I woke up and dad was pretty chatty (still is he's talking to me as I write this). Stopped for food and I was given 30 mins. to go into the Bas Pro shop (I only used 15). I think I finally convinced Dad that no one is chasing us. You have no idea how wonderful it is traveling with a pound and half of old fashioned beef jerky. Oh and hangin with Dad is good too. Staying at Little America in Wyoming- VERY NICE for 80 bucks-it would be nice for 110. I think we'll get to Aunt Emily's place tomorrow. I know my dad is sad about Uncle Paul's passing but he doesn't say much. Every once in while he recollects something about Uncle Paul, pauses and wears one of those painful smiles- you know the kind - they feel warm yet kinda make you sad at the same time
More tomorrow. Please pray for us.
Going Big all the way to Dakota
North what ? no such thing

Independence Day

2009-07-04T09:51:00.000-07:00

Our country celebrates our independence from England today. I am very glad that they don't rule us.

Top 10 Reasons why I am glad that we kicked England's butt 1776

1. Other than Beef Wellington their food tastes like boiled wood

2. Cricket confuses me

3. I would have bad teeth

4. English cars have bad electrical systems

5. I don't get Monti Python

When life was simpler.

2009-07-02T20:37:00.001-07:00

I look back at my childhood and even though there was some pain, it was very good. I learned how to be a son,brother, friend mostly without knowing I was. I learned not to betray a friend when I was betrayed. I learned not to lie to my parents when I lied and got away with it and stewed in my own guilt. I learned to be a brother when I saw my brothers in trouble - I helped.

GOSH IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER THEN!

I still have stuff to learn but I can't go back and play "army men" with my brothers and friends to learn this stuff. How do you convince folks that what you say is what they need to hear when they just think your a WACKO. Oh , Please don't think that I haven't searched the bible for an answer. What happens to guys that say what God wants them to say? They get their head lopped off , maimed, stoned or crucified. Lucky for me they just think me a goofball. WHEW!

I Am Not A Poet

2009-02-14T22:46:00.000-08:00

I have never been accused of being an eloquent man. I have lots of stuff in my head that just stay there because typing is very hard for me - that's why I don't blog consistently. And it's also kinda embarrassing because my spelling is poor (people love to scoff at the bad spelling guy- and assume him to be an idiot). Truth is I'd write all day long if I didn't stink at writing and typing . I wish I could express how much it hurts not to express how much it hurts to have all this stuff locked up inside me. Enough lamentation!

Here's some words from my head:

I once had ink on my skin

it was painful to get on

the image saved me

but not the ink

the image was indelible before it was on and in my skin.

it was more painful to come off

marlboros can be useful

this ink is gone now for years

the image still saves me

indelible

the image alive and willing to save

to give a new skin

the scarred hand (scared and sacred would have worked as well- God loves this bad speller)

so faint now

now one knows it was ever there

but the indelible image

the indelible one

I hope that they can see it

I hope that you can see him

on my skin?

COMING THROUGH IT!

Reaction Time vs Response Time

2009-01-25T07:06:00.000-08:00

This morning's Gospel is on the calling of Simon, Andrew, James and John. From the Gospel we get the picture that as soon as these men were called they responded. They were called and immediately left their fishing business and followed Jesus.

Most reading this have responded to the initial call of Jesus to follow him and even though we may limp along, we do follow him. But what about the specific ministries that he calls us to. Regretfully I believe we react immediately but do not respond obediently for some time if ever.

We react as silent paralytics questioning God's choice, our own abilities and what responding to God's call will mean to the human comfort zone that we have spent a life time creating.

The four men in this mornings Gospel JUST RESPOND OBEDIENTLY !

I want to be like that. How about you?

My Brother is mourning and it hurts me

2009-01-22T11:22:00.000-08:00

The Lord has always been generous to me in that the friends that he has given me are almost always men I can truly call brothers as if we shared the same parents. I have two biological brothers and a handful of men that are also brothers to me.

One of these men called me yesterday with a distressed voice and told me that his mom had died suddenly. He said "I have gone through the worst thing in my life - there is no grief worse than this - I got to hug, kiss and say good bye to her - I'm so glad God gave that to me"

This brother is my hero. He sees God's grace in all things. He has gone through more adversity than anyone I know in the last two years yet no ones knows it. He was a great son to his earthly mom but also a great son to his heavenly Father. I am purposely omitting his name as he doesn't like notice in this way.

I FEEL HIS LOSS AND I WANT IT TO GO AWAY BUT I KNOW GOD IS WITH HIM.

Father, comfort your son, my brother.

So, If You Have An Extra 1.3 Million Laying Around. . .

2009-01-19T23:04:00.000-08:00

As I was fishing on a beach in Ventura this afternoon, I received a call (aren't cellphones great?)from someone who comes to our church sometimes and is also a local realtor. They told me that there is a church property for sale in town for 1.3 million dollars. I know what building it is and we could make it work very well. I am normally a very practical person - which is as total odds with the pentecostal part of me. I am seriously praying about his.

You see, our church doesn't have two nickles to rub to together but I believe God is doing something here. Our church is 10 years old yet we are virtually unknown in our area while churches that are well funded that have been around for a couple of years are already institutions in this town. I repent of envy almost daily.

Buildings absolutely don't make a church but they do help minister to community much more than a limited rental space.

I'm good with where ever God puts us, but this call was so random and very timely in some ways. It might just be God. The money will have to fall from heaven. God can do this - I know he can.

But for now I'll pray until Gods speaks clearly one way or another and until then focus on bringing souls to Jesus Christ- I'll let the Lord worry about a place to put all them newly saved souls.

Please pray with me on this. And let me know if the Lord gives you a word on this subject.

Going Big

There Is Still Joy

2009-01-15T08:21:00.000-08:00

the Funeral for a Stranger?

2009-01-14T07:27:00.000-08:00

On Sunday I celebrated a funeral mass for a woman whom I only knew for a few minutes before I saw her pass away. A week previously I was called from the hospital to minister to her as she was dieing. Her family was around her as the Lord embraced her for eternity. On the day she went to be with the Lord her son had told me a little about her life and faith. That frail lifeless body that I had seen lying in that hospital bed had seen adversity one only reads of in books. She was a saint of great faith. I never knew her but she was my grandmother, mom, aunt , cousin and big sister. She wasn't a stranger she was family and I was sad to see her go. Later the family would ask me to celebrate the funeral mass which I was more than glad to do .I had asked Deacon Joshua to serve at the funeral mass and he did . After the service he said he had wondered what I was going to say about her as I didn't know her but he was surprised that there was as much familiarity in what I had said.

I have done some funerals -not hundreds- but some. I have never done a funeral for a stranger although half the funerals I've done were for folks I never really met. Deacon Joshua and I talked about this for a while. I guess I'd never really thought about it before. But I always feel that I am laying a family member to rest when I celebrate a funeral mass. I feel that way whether I know if the person was Christian or not. Our common need for a savior makes for kinship I guess. Doing a christian funeral for a known atheist is blog entry for another day.

This last funeral was quite a blessing. I was blessed to pray the commendation for Vera, a woman who spent a total of 7 years in two different prison camps during WWII and after . She worked doing anything she could to provide a good life and education for her only child- a son. These are experiences that challenge ones faith enormously -SHE NEVER LOST FAITH. I don't know every detail of her life but I know enough to feel proud to have been there for last breath.

Rest in peace Vera.

Doing Magic Again

2009-01-12T17:23:00.000-08:00

Many of you know that I was a professional Magician for a little over a decade. It helped to pay for my education. I renewed my membership at the Magic Castle in Hollywood last year and plan to do the same this. I've been practicing my old routines and some new ones and hope to start performing again but this time it will be different. Yes, I'd like to work professionally again but I'd also like to use magic(slight of hand) to evangelize. I've always had my reservations about Gospel magic because I have seldom seen it done well. Lately I have seen many competent Gospel magicians. I feel called to do some street performing with a gospel message. I'm still praying about it. We'll see what God says. I don't want this to be just me forcing a Gospel message so I can do magic. That would be bad..

Go Big!

Los Lobos Rock but Monica Rocks Harder

2009-01-11T00:36:00.000-08:00

I have lots of God children the eldest of them is Monica who is 25 . She was my kid before I had any. She ruled me at 12 months old. She has no idea that I am her biggest fan. She is bright and caring and flawed and I love it all. But tonight dazzled me.

She told me months ago to reserve the evening of Jan 11th as she said that I was to receive my bday gift on that day.

Well , the 11th was today and she took me to see a special Los Lobos concert. I like Los Lobos but I never counted them amongst my favorites. She also gifted me with a Los Lobos Tshirt. ( side note: Being Mexican American, I have no clue as to why Mexican American artists feel the need to paint skeletons all the time).

Anyway , we have a quick dinner at a near by Japanese food court then go to the concert. These guys are crazy talented . They impressed me but not as much as Monica did. She has a tough life but she is letting God get her through it. For some reason she loves me (I don't know why I torture her every chance I get) and she showed tonight. We laughed together to the point of tears. I can't remember the last time I HAD SO MUCH FUN.

She'll probably never see this but I need to say this - I love you Monicaca! YOU ROCK.

I wish you all knew her.

That young woman is going big!

On Being Forgetful

2008-08-26T19:39:00.000-07:00

I have three calendars and a Blackberry at my disposal but I still forget major events as if they never existed. I know it infuriates people and hurts them. They think I don't care. I no longer make excuses - I'm just lame. I seem to be getting more forgetful as I am trying harder to remember. If anyone can help me improve my memory - HELP!

Lord have Mercy

The Craziest Little Things Make Us Who We Are

2008-08-21T06:52:00.000-07:00

I was thinking yesterday (I've been told not to do that) about teeny tiny events in my life that have formed me. Here's a list small events - I'll explain them after.

1. Fell down while running a foot race when I was 6.

2. Bought a magic trick called snapper when I was 7.

3. Sat next to Danny at my First Holy Communion.

4. Saw some kids beat up a retarded boy when I was 8.

5. Beat up by some native American boys when I was ten.

6. Against my better judgement enrolled in Public Speaking class in my senior year of High School.

7. Took a burrito to a young man that had just been diagnosed with MS.

8. I saw my father cry for the first time when I was 42.

The explanations.

1. I tried my best to win and failed (I knew I would have lost even if I hadn't fallen)- I equated trying with failure - I battled that misunderstanding for years.

2. That childhood passion of magic would later pay for my seminary education.

3. Danny wasn't into the Jesus thing at 7 - I was . Danny's attitude made me burn with passion for Jesus- I'm a priest now -

4.I watched as older kids beat up that boy - I did nothing - that was the last time I did nothing when an innocent was being hurt- this is also this reason I bring the Eucharistic service to LARC Ranch every month.

5 I was spending the summer with my Grandparents . While attending a rodeo I was jumped by some boys from the Lakota Sioux Nation. They called me "white man" as they beat me. I couldn't make words as they shed my Mexican Indian blood that comes from my mother. Bigotry begets bigotry. I swore to love everybody even the kids who beat the crud out of me.

6. That Public Speaking class is where I met my wife Joann- married for 20 years now. That class was a good choice.

7. So this arrogant 20 something guy gets diagnosed with a crippling illness. Everybody needs to eat so I take him a burrito. That was about 6 years ago. Not only is that young man not so arrogant but he has become one the best men I have ever known in my life. MS doesn't have him Jesus does. He is a blessing. Burritos are good.

8. The strongest person I know wept because he couldn't help his wife. I know now just how tender real strength is.

Those little things in are lives are not so little. Please share some of your little events with me.

Go Big

The Noah Complex

2008-08-20T16:37:00.000-07:00

I often wonder how Noah felt when he was told to build the ark. He knew it was God but everyone else that he was WACKO. Someone I know is repeatedly asked by God to do things that appear a bit insane to the human eye. I admire the kind of faith that a person must have to live out what God has told them to do. I pray daily for that kind of faith. You know- that crazy supernatural walk on water kind of stuff.

To Go Be the Glory!

Six Quirky Things About Me

2008-08-13T21:05:00.000-07:00

My wife tagged me or something (I don't really know that means) and I'm told that I'm supposed to copy something and something else - I'm not at at this kinda stuff so I'm just writing quirky things. I apologize to the normal people that can do this the right way.

6. I have a fear of losing one of my eyes and having to wear an eye patch the rest of my life.

5. I refused to drink any brown liquids (coca cola, coffee , etc.) until I was 27 years old.

4. I like the smell of skunk.

3. It drives me crazy when Christians talk about how they can't stand a certain someone then end it with " But I love them in the Lord "

2. I can't stand show tunes (I love them in the Lord) but some of my favorite songs are TV commercial jingles .

1. I have expressed every single emotion I have ever felt - not always a good thing

Banana Splits Steal the Heart of another Mski

2008-08-11T21:06:00.000-07:00

Last week I came down stairs to the sound of something that was quite haunting to me. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was the Banana Splits theme song and there was my 7 year old son Luke humming along.
For a moment I couldn't speak as I was watching the most important pixilated imagery of the 70's. I was a member of the Banana Split fan club. It took like 2 months to get which was an absolute eternity to me at seven . I drove my mother nuts over this.
Luke was absolutely shocked when I sang the theme song word for word. "Dad, you like this new show!?". I was so tickled I want to cry. I explained that this show over 35 years old and it was my favorite show when I was his age. I was more than a little pleased to have someone that he bombard with Banana Split questions- he had about of them . It was nice to be able to share my childhood obsession with my son.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2se2I70CJ0

Reconciliation, Truth and Thanksgiving

2008-08-09T21:42:00.000-07:00

As a priest in Christ's Church reconciliation is a huge part of my life. In the ancient church reconciliation has always been considered a sacrament. It has become my custom to publicly ask the church that I serve to forgive me for hurts I have caused them at least twice a year. I normally do this in Lent and Advent as they are penitential seasons with an emphasis on reconciliation. I don't enjoy this as I would prefer never to hurt anyone but unfortunately I am very capable of hurting people. Perhaps too capable.

This morning, upon reflecting on the flaws in myself that I need God to change and heal I became thankful for those in my life that have loved me enough to tell me when I've wronged and or hurt them or someone else. Many times this is a point of healing for all parties involved as it gives an opportunity to talk things through and reconcile. Although it is painful to be told that you screwed up I prefer it to not knowing that I have a flaw that needs correction and a brother or sister in Christ with whom I am unreconciled.

I am not too fragile to hear some one's grievance against me (again, I would prefer not to) and would hope that the individual would be equally willing to accept when others bring grievances against them.

For those of you have had the courage to confront me - Thank You. I am better because of it.

Go Big - and tell me when I stink.

M I C -- SEE YA REAL SOON

2008-07-28T18:48:00.000-07:00

Going to our church convocation tomorrow with the family. Please pray for us and the whole church. It's in Orlando , Fla. I'll try to post a couple times while we're there. This is the first time our little ones have flown a plane.

Going Big and Far !

apparent failure- actual victory

2008-07-27T09:26:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid I had an incident that made me never want to give anything my all. I still battle this. It's hard to do your best and flat out FAIL! But is that failure. NOPE !
I was a pole vaulter a million years ago. The vault is an event that ALWAYS ENDS IN FAILURE. You vault until you've knocked down the bar at a certain height three times(very trinitarian).
Vaulting taught me that some failure is just victory in disguise. Failure in some cases comes from outside of us. We do our best and sometimes our environment will not permit us to thrive and achieve like we believe we can . Looks like failure - it's not. The victory is there if you have allowed God to make you better by it and thru it.
I wear a crucifix (I know many of you don't think Jesus should still be on the cross- fine ) because it speaks to the the greatest apparent failure in history - What looked like failure is victory for all of us.

Christ is victorious and thru him so are we!

Breathing

2008-07-26T15:43:00.000-07:00

Discovery: One needs to breathe to live.

HMMMM!

Yep - It's true.

And probably why many of us walk around with spiritual and emotional faces of purple.

BREATH!

Read John 20:21-22

A resurrected Jesus says to his disciples "Peace be with you"- He wants us to have peace not anxiety and turmoil.

In the next line Jesus BREATHES on them and says " Receive the Holy Spirit"

I don't believe that Jesus has ever stopped breathing the life sustaining Holy Spirit upon us.

So INHALE ! Breathe in and out the Holy Spirit.

Noticing that I have been a lighter shade of purple lately I have decided to breathe.

From this day on - you may now call me Fr. Ninja Surfer Dad

Fr. - well I'm a priest and that the title

Ninja - Japanese for assassin- I plan to assassinate anxiety in my life - The word of God my

Samurai sword.

Surfer - I don't plan on surfing any more but I like the idea of being content with a simple life.

Dad- I really enjoying being a Dad.

So stay tuned for the further adventures of Fr Ninja Surfer Dad. Breathing in a church near you.

I may be looking for a sidekick in the near future.

I kinda already have a getup (clericals). So I won't need tights or anything

BREATHE!

Some Animals Eat Their Young - Some Churches Eat their Pastors

2008-07-25T08:29:00.000-07:00

I am very thankful to serve a parish where my every word and movement is not scrutinized and judged. Basically my parish knows that I am a wacko and they love me any way.

I know of many churches that tend to believe that they are the boss of the pastor and need to keep him in line (really). It's funny 'cause every other word out of there mouth is "pastor "yet they don't let the pastor be their shepherd. The tradition that I serve in is very different so it's hard for me to understand how wonderfully biblical living folks treat their pastors like hirelings. I know that pastors aren't little gods and shouldn't be allowed to rule churches with tyranny but when a congregation feels they should govern the shepherd it makes me sad.
I know of Pastors that don't preach on certain things because they were given a list of no preach zones when they were hired. I know of a pastor that was told by an elder the first Sunday he preached " I had the last guy removed you know - Let's see how you do".
Something is wrong here! While I agree that pastors are human and make mistakes ,the hireling mentality is hurtful to everyone.
Now before I give the idea that I'm taking a superior position let me assure you that I am aware of the flaws in all forms of church governance including the one adhered to in my communion. But the hireling mentality is one where pastors rarely have the fortitude to stay in those churches more than a few years. Why? Because the laity has not been trained to submit to those who are in authority , in fact we have allowed them to be the authority. There is no biblical model for this. We use secular models to run our churches - probably not a good idea.We try to run our churches with American democracy when the God we serve IS NOT AN AMERICAN! Biblical based governance is tough 'cause it requires us to come to consensus rather than a majority. There are no committees -no lobbying for certain agendas. What! No committees?
It can be done.
Let's try!

Shell Shocked

2008-01-03T09:01:00.000-08:00

I have known people who have been in battle militarily-speaking but I have only seen a few right after returning from active combat. When I was about six my cousin returned from Vietnam. I remember him before leaving for the war. He was so energetic and fun to be around. When he came back he limped because part of a rocket had gone through his leg. Beyond the physical injury I remember him being different for a time - a little quieter, less likely to say something funny and very pensive, as if he always had something processing in his mind. Of course, I was only six years old and these are recollections. I didn't understand what he had been through but now I think I do. My cousin would return to his energetic and humorous self after a time but it took time.

I know nothing about military battle but I think there are similarities between military battle and spiritual battle. There is a definite enemy and there can be definite casualties. For the better part of the year I have experienced spiritual battle and I have not gone through it alone. Our church, my family, have all been through it as well. It's been exhausting and there has been times where it looked like the ammunition box was getting pretty low. And then there's Jesus. Like a Sikorsky helicopter landing in the thickest jungle to provide rescue. While being in battle really stinks, believe it or not I thank God for having gone through it. Not that I want to do it again but the battle itself has made me realize that truly anything is possible in Christ Jesus. And yes, I am being a little cryptic as to exactly what the battle is. Those of you who have gone through this with me side by side know exactly what I am talking about. For those of you who are guessing, the battle isn't much different than what you've gone through in the past year. We all fight against principalities and powers - hopefully, with Jesus Christ as our general.

Tomorrow there is a great celebration in the church and it took up until the last couple of days for me to get excited about it. I attribute that delay to being shell shocked. That period of time right after fighting a battle where part of you still feels like the battle is being fought. It's a time when you are adjusting to normal peacetime and your mind and soul are trying to deal with and categorize the atrocities that you have been through and seen. But then again, there is Jesus. He has been my sanctuary, my healer and above all, my savior. For those of you who are battling, be encouraged. You are already victorious through Christ Jesus. For those of you are shell shocked, prayerfully allow yourself to go through this period. It's formational. But it's easy to get stuck, so that is why I say prayerfully go through it. And if you ever want to swap war stories, give me a call.

GO BIG!

Driving Miss Nadia

2007-09-12T08:40:00.001-07:00

Nadia is our youngest child. We recently decided that we would take her out of childcare and she would stay with me during the day. I guess you can she is a spirited child. I would say she's bossy. We've been driving around some and driving with Nadia is quite an experience.

Nadia: Dad when are you gonna drive?

me: Let me turn the engine on

N: we're gonna be late.

me: we can get there anytime.

N: my baby is mad 'cause you won't drive.

5 mins later

N: You're going the wrong way!

m: there's only one way to get there Nadia.

N: AND THIS IS NOT IT!

m: And we're here.

N: (talking to the baby doll) It's okay baby we're here now - I'm sorry it took so long - but daddy went the wrong way. We'll take the bus tomorrow.

Okay - I love my daughter but the driving gets a bit nuts.

More on the adventures of Father Rich and Nadia.

GBOGH

STAR WARS

2007-09-11T19:35:00.000-07:00

My six year old son Luke recently discovered STAR WARS. I saw it in the theater over thirty years ago. Never saw the big deal. I do like the Darth Vader character though. They did a great job developing his depth. He was good then he was bad then he was good again. I identify with folks with a past and have a history of giving in to the dark side.

Some folks in Christendom like everything squeaky clean and have no tolerance for the slightest appearance of evil. There is a scripture that is often abused that speaks to the avoidance of the appearance of evil. But Jesus puts that in tension (not contradiction) as he broke bread with hookers, liars and ne'r do wells. Everyone is redeemable! PRAISE GOD!

Some similarities between me and Darth Vader.

liking shiny things (him the light saber -me, well --- anything shiny)

loud irritating voice.

married childhood sweetheart.

mentored by a short bald guy (for me it was my dad for him Yoda)

black is the primary color of wardrobe.

easily frustrated.

have a son named Luke.

believe in a force greater than ourself.

Go Big Or Go Home!

Cancer as medicine?

2007-09-09T23:25:00.000-07:00

OK, most folks think I'm nuts anyway but this will top the cake. Cancer has become as medicine to me. I have probably been closer to cancer than most of the population. I am a cancer survivor. Three of my grandparents had it and as a minister I have dealt with it extensively. But I no longer have an active hatred for cancer. Cancer is kinda like poison only worse. I choose to make it medicine a render it not only harmless but a help to me and all those in my life.

My mom will have cancer surgery on Tuesday. It has been caught very early but cancer has a habit of killing people even if it doesn't actually kill them. It can paralyze a soul with fear and anger towards God.

So how can it be medicine? Cancer's apparent death grip makes me see God's victory. Has it claimed lives? Yes. BUT IT CAN'T CLAIM THE SOUL! I have ministered to many brothers and sister whose human lives have been stopped by cancer. But they had such extreme faith that was actually catapulted by the cancer. They had to lean on Jesus.

My mom leans on Jesus and she was the one that taught me to do that. Is cancer our friend ?- NO . But I consider it medicine because it brings many souls to a realization that they need something greater than what physicians can give. Salvation - Now that's medicine!

Go Big!

Run away Bunny

2007-04-24T20:44:00.000-07:00

This is a communication to someone I love very much - Only they will get this -

Bunnies some times run away but if you follow then they normally come back
Sometimes bunnies move away and run away at the same time - it hurts real bad
Sometimes bunnies pray alot - things get better
Then bunnies don't have to run away more
Then the one who used to follow them doesn't have follow them any more
I miss my bunny
My bunny is better than OK
Go Big Bunny!
I KNOW YOU READ THIS !
a father who loves you

Resting

2007-04-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

I am supposed to rest on Mondays. HMMMM. So I gives smiles to you thru this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1csI9m-Vl0
Very cute and restful I think .
Blessings+++

Luke bought my love today.

2007-04-20T21:19:00.000-07:00

I got a great deal on some cheese at the market today. I told my 5 year old son Luke about it. And it just so happened that Luke had some money - so- he asked to buy some from me. So I took his dollar for one package of cheese. Turns out that he didn't like that cheese so I gave back his dollar. But he still wanted to buy something from me. So I jokingly told him that he could buy my love for a dollar. He quickly gave the dollar back to me. I told him that I was joking and he never had to pay for my love but he insisted that I take the money because it was a "GREAT PRICE."

I did my my best not to cry. It reminded me of the Gospel story of the man who found a treasure in a field and sold all he had to buy the field. I thank God for that boy every day.
Reckless abandon starts here!

What if the truth went door to door .

2007-04-19T21:31:00.000-07:00

The Jehovah's Witnesses came by today as they do every three weeks or so. These folks have a zeal for for what they believe and they are not double minded about it. You know, I don't know anyone that hasn't had a JW come to their door at some time in life. They have a need to believe that they are the only true Christians. They have abandoned traditional Trinitarian Christian belief yet they continue to grow without the seeker sensitive stuff. Why? Cuz they get themselves heard face to face and make a compelling argument based on lies from abuse of the scriptures. So what if we take the gospel of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit door to door? Trinitarian churches don't do that very much. We tend to be content with mailers, news ads, websites and blogs. I hate the the thought of actually doing it but when I read the Gospel I see it preaching up close and in faces. HMMMMMM

Go Big and maybe door to door.

The Cups and Balls

2007-04-18T09:37:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been knocking the dust off of my old magic props and have started playing with them again. I tend to be a pretty joyful person - not without the occasional grey cloud in my temperament. Being joyful for one's salvation is different than having fun. I forgot how much fun I had doing magic. I'm learning more and more about myself and this resting thing.

So I'm practicing the cups and balls which is a classic of magic and my favorite trick. At first I'm having a great time just playing around but then I get the idea that I will create the mega routine that I always have wanted to. But now I need additional equipment and stuff so to the internet I go. It takes me an hour or so to realize that I'm not having fun anymore and like so many things that I do I have taken something restful and made it laborious.WHAT A KNUCKLEHEAD! Hey I'm learning!

Go Big!

The cups shown above are the ones I used for a decade as a professional magician.

The Quail in the road or was that me ?

2007-04-17T07:57:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that the Valley Quail has a special place in my heart - and my tummy. It's a strange thing to most people that the bird that I love to hunt the most is the bird I am most protective of. I do go a little nuts when people over hunt or ruin habitat. I think the Valley Quail is one of the most beautiful birds God has created.

Yesterday I was driving up the hill on the main road where I live and I saw something odd in the middle of the road. This is a major road with two lanes on either side and a divider as wide as lane in the middle. And there was a beautiful male Valley Quail standing still in the middle of the road. He looked stunned. There is a covey of Quail that lives around there and they often cross the road. He might have flown into the side of a moving car as getting hit head on normally means death. I quickly turned around and went into the divider and parked the Jeep a safe distance away from the bird. I put my hazard lights on and slowly walked toward the bird. I was afraid that he might freak out and run and get killed (I would have felt so guilty) but he remained still. It was obvious that he was frightened to paralysis. BUT HE WAS STILL STANDING ! Looking as strong as he could muster. He allowed me to pick him up with no fight. We got in the car and I prayed that he wouldn't escape my grasp and start flying around. He remained still in my hand as I drove using the other to steer. It was only a couple hundred yards to the field where I know the covey lives . I set him down in the field. He looked a bit less tense than before but he remained motionless as I left him there. I prayed that he would recover and drove away. I hope he makes it.

Wow! What a weird thing to have happen with the way I was feeling yesterday. I felt stunned right in the middle of the road. I welcome God's hands to put me where I need to be. Whether I move or not when he places me there is really my choice. Being where you belong can be as scary as being in the middle of the road. I CHOOSE TO MOVE !

GO BIG

Christ Is Risen!

2007-04-16T12:02:00.000-07:00

Well , yesterday I spent a few hours in the Emergency Room. I'm physically fine but I guess stress is more a part of my life than I had thought. I'm very quick to point out stress in others lives but not so much my own. I'm a good health physically (I have a few aches and pains) but stress can take a toll and can eventually claim one's health. So now I have to learn to take a true SABBATH. I'm not so good at that. It means more than just secular recreation - I jog, mountain bike, hunt and hike with regularity but I don't SABBATH. I exercise but don't rest. When I hike I plan church stuff in my mind. When I hunt I try to cover as much ground as I can in two hours because I have three counseling sessions planned for that day. I pray but very surgically - God probably can't get a word in edgewise cuz I won't shut up!
So I seek the Lord today to RE- CREATE me. Make me new O Lord! And He will.
Go Big - but take a sabbath will ya!

Sprained ankle, Prayer and Sense of Humor

2007-02-16T08:11:00.000-08:00

I sprained my stinkin ankle yesterday. I wish that could say that I did it mountain biking or chasing a pheasant with my dogs or even just jogging but I can't. I sprained it walking with my son Luke at Walmart. I was turning into an aisle and somehow I managed to turn my ankle . Arrrrrrrrg. It (my ankle) didn't even have the decency to hurt right away so that I might know that I was injured. It didn't hurt til about 2 hrs later. By 4 o'clock I wanted Jesus to take me (no really - it hurt like anything - and I can take a good amount of pain). Not that I'm someone who wants the world to feel sorry for me every time I bump my knee but it's a nice thing when a person's family in concerned about them. My second eldest daughter was the only one that could give me some type first aid. I don't want to say that she was reluctant but she fluctuated between non interest and finding my pain very amusing. After she had her fun deriding me for requesting the first aid kit that is for the dogs (I have accident prone dogs - OK). the dogs' first aid kit has stuff in it that is more useful for more sports like injuries than the household cut and scrape kit. Anyway, Daughter #2 is more laughing than comforting as she Ace bandages an ice pack to my ankle. After her art project on my ankle I asked that she would lay hands and pray for the injured ankle. She did so with no fuss but I 'm pretty sure that I heard her pray "Lord help Daddy stop being a baby". I wasn't sure so I let it go. Immediately I felt relief. Although still had to hobble around. Luke laughed every time he would see me limp. I mean he laughed to the point he had tears in his eyes. I asked him why he thought it was so funny but he was laughing so hard he couldn't make words.
When my youngest daughter (3yrs) arrived home from daycare I asked that she would pray for my ankle (she didn't really know that body part). One of the siblings made a crack that the only prayer she knows is the blessing for the food. She was offended but did a good job ignoring them as she began to pray very dramatically for my ankle.
I woke this morning and it was obvious that my ankle was still injured but not much pain to speak of. God is good -
I have to say that yesterday's injury was the most fun I've had in few weeks. The Lord really has gifted me with some special, funny kids.
Witness for Christ in all that you do!

Remembering A Hard time

2007-02-15T10:33:00.000-08:00

There was a time in my ministry that I used to wish I could erase. It was a painful time filled with feelings of abandonment and anger towards others in ministry. For about 18mos I served with no joy what so ever. I had committed my life to this and was it. Who said I had to be joyful ? I did my job - people got served - no problem. Oh -BIG PROBLEM ! I WAS DISOBEDIENT! Philippians 4:4-7 says to rejoice and have no anxiety about anything. Yet I did not rejoice in anything and was anxious in all things. Could it be I lost focus ? In retrospect, some people just weren't telling me how great I was and recognizing my service. HMMMMM- It's not like I was being martyred or anything. Then what was my real problem ? ---------------HUMILITY! crud I thought that I was still living in the presence of the Lord after all He says He will never leave me or forsake me, right ? But then I read Psalms 16:11 it says that in the Lords presence is the fullness of joy. I was joyless for those 18 mos. I had left the presence of the Lord TO BE THE GUEST OF HONOR AT MY OWN PITY PARTY. I lacked humility. I was not serving just because I loved Jesus. I wanted recognition and praise. Those two pieces of scripture ministered to me. And litany of humility changed my life. Here it is, let it change you. Really it's letting Jesus change you. http://www.rc.net/wcc/humility.htm
GO BIG OR GO HOME !

Sanctity of Life

2007-01-21T07:51:00.001-08:00

Today is sanctity of life Sunday in our church . Studying for the sermon was very moving this week (not that God's words doesn't normally move me). In the U.S. we have a law that is based on an interpretation of life that is just very insane at best, Machiavellian definitely. Of course I'm speaking of legalized abortion. Somehow the human gestation period has been used to create an illusion that murder is not really murder. Most folks even non Christians will read the story of Herod commanding the killing of all the male children in Israel and say " This is BAD!". Yet many people think it's OK to kill a baby up to a certain time (even many folks who confess Jesus as lord). What's the difference? I don't get ! That's my thinking now that I am fully surrendered to God's order and structure ( At least I truly try ). There was a time in my life where I thought human choice reigned supreme. I wouldn't not have thought at the time that I was giving the royal raspberry to God.
Choice is fine but there is a motivation behind each choice we make. Herod was motivated by jealousy , fear of losing a life that was comfortable and felt entitled to. Although there are some abortions that are motivated by pregnancies that threaten the mothers life or a pregnancy came by way of rape and or incest, these are not the normal motivations for abortion. Most abortions come as a result of people not wanting to live the consequences of a sexually active lifestyle. IF YOU HAVE SEX YOU MAY GET PREGNANT ! more later today

Sanctity of Life

2007-01-21T07:51:00.000-08:00

Small and broken but still good!

2006-10-13T13:30:00.000-07:00

Lilo and Stitch is one of my favorite animated movies. There is a line in the movie that is delivered by Stitch where he says "this is my family - small and broken but still good." I have been enjoying that line as I think it fits well for our church.
I was talking with another minister in town that is planting a church. He told the trouble was already having with parishioners. I thought to myself that as crazy as we all are at our church we do very well Serving Jesus Christ together. Not that there hasn't been bent feelers along the way in the past 8 years - there have been a few - but for the most part we do well. I believe it has to do with our comfort with brokenness. Most of the saints of our church know they are broken and only made whole by Jesus Christ. It makes for a greater tolerance for others' brokenness. We're all cracked vessels- but through submission to Jesus his skillful potter's hands fills our cracks with the most clay of grace and love. I guess you could say the we all have a crack problem - and Jesus is the Rehab.
I LOVE OUR CHURCH FAMILY! God is doing a great work here.
So I say - this is my family - small and broken but still good.

I want the best for you

2006-10-10T19:11:00.000-07:00

"I want the best for you" I heard my parents say this all the time as I was growing up. I always thought they were lying. If they wanted the best for me why wouldn't they just let me have what I wanted. Well, because I wanted stupid things that could have harmed me.
I have been saying that phrase frequently lately. So I have had to check my motivation.
Do I really want what is best for the other person or do just want my will for their life? I am in authority in many peoples lives so I really have to look deep inside myself and answer it truthfully.
I have had to make decisions based on "wanting the best for someone" that were uncomfortable. Sometimes the best thing to do is to let someone take there own bad decision to the bitter end that you knew it would come to.
Should I ever say to you "I want the best for you " please know that I am sincere. But I am sinful man who knows his limitations. I can't create the best life for you. That's what Jesus came for. I will allow you to make all the mistakes you need to discover that Jesus is what is best for you. I love you that much.
Probably the hardest thing I have to do as a priest is to see people that I love and want the best for is to watch them go through the worst times in their lives. Just imagine how our Lord feels.
I want the best for you.

Beautiful feet?

2006-10-03T15:20:00.000-07:00

Sunday I had one of the most humbling experiences of my ministerial life. We have an intercession team the meets before service on Sundays. I had asked them to pray for some ailments that I had been having . One of the team members immediately got down on her knee and said "I'm being drawn to your feet". My knee jerk reaction, though not verbalized was " crazy woman - get up here and pray for something that is hurting me - like my shoulders ". I let it go and allowed her to pray for my feet.
I have never felt especially gifted as an evangelist or preacher but as she prayed for me I felt as if God was making me recognize myself as evangelist and preacher . I don't like it . I don't want it. It's weird, I know what I 'm being called to do . NOT A CLUE HOW TO GET THERE!
As much as I am comfortable with the counseling centered ministry that the Lord has given me I have no problem doing what God wants even if it's stuff I dislike. I leave the "HOW " to God.
I'm done becoming stuff- I just want to be the child of God He created me to be.
I know evengelism is something that will be a focus and thrust. But I won't look for a method. I'm through with that . I'm just going to to continue to Love people and point them towards Jesus. God will do it.
" How beautiful are the feet of him who brings good news" Romans 10:15
So I guess my feet are beautiful- only because of GOOD NEWS they're carrying.
Pray for me a sinner.

Psych Profiling II

2006-08-30T09:38:00.000-07:00

Continuing...

Jonah - Bigoted personality with suicidal tendencies
Gideon - Low self esteem , defeatist attitude, will ultimately submit to authority only after testing the water,
Moses - adopted child complex, prone to violence
(breaks things when angry), prone to auditory and visual hallucinations. Medication highly recommended.
Job - does not submit to peer pressure, in a state constant lamentation of his reality, toxically obstinate
David - highly confident(narcissistic personality), sex addiction, misuse of authority, his journaling reveals an emotional break down at some point, seems to have recovered fully (treatment unknown)
Possibly more later
... or Go Home !

My Brother is 40

2006-08-29T13:37:00.000-07:00

The little boy who tormented me all the time I lived at home is 40 years old . He has the quickest wit I know. At age 8 he went to spend some time with my aunt and uncle in No. Cal.. My Aunt was an English teacher and was always correcting everyone's grammar. Very irritating! Well she didn't know it but she had met her match. My brother was relaying a story and said "My brother and me ..." my aunt interrupted and said "brother and I " to which my brother retorted immediately "Aunt Betty, YOU WEREN'T THERE!"

He's the same as he was back then -just now he has facial hair.

Family is a good thing!
Go Big!

Psychological Profiling of Biblical Charecters

2006-08-20T07:16:00.000-07:00

My very good friend Charlie ( pastoral home dog ) in a recent comment on my blog blog made a good argument that King Solomon had A.D.D. This got me to thinking about the psychological pathologies of many biblical characters. What follows is a totally unqualified series of diagnosis of biblical characters by a wacko priest.

Adam- refusal to take responsibility for his action - codependent
Eve - reptofile
Cain - least favorite son syndrome - prone to violent outbursts
Able - golden child - healthy need to please those on authority
Noah - hears the voice of God - apparently psychotic - (Oh but what if he didn't listen? )
Japeth- latent homosexual tendencies - his children will bear the brunt of his misgivings.
Abraham - healthy need to obey those in authority - manipulative -
Essau- obsession with food - may lead overlooking the good things that have been promised to him
Jacob/Israel- somewhat larcenous - stubbornly tenacious - Tends to play favorites

I'll revisit this from time to time.
Go Big

So - About This Preaching to the T.V. Stuff

2006-08-11T10:15:00.000-07:00

Theology is just not something found in seminaries and Sunday sermons. Everyone lives a Theology. One's understanding or misunderstanding of God comes forth in the life they live and the products of the individuals life.

So , say an individual who writes for television is a Church going Christian that puts God first then others then himself , his theology will no doubt ooze out of his writing. The like will happen if be that writer happens to an active homosexual raised in the church and feels alienated and angry towards God and his church. That individuals' theology will no doubt come through his writing. There was a time when the morality of t.v. show was more closely monitored . This is no longer the case. Hollywood is saying that they are merely showing "Real Life" cuz this is what people really do. Not only do they show us all the sinful stuff that we do and would like to do but they mock the morality that was at least intellectually adhered to. My wife and others kid me for preaching at the T.V. when a character slam the God whom I serve or questions the validity of a Christian life or portray Christians as dangerous close minded people. God and Christians are about all that are safe now to be prejudiced against. Buddhists and wickans are OK even satanists are better than Christians or even God himself .

My big statement when confronted with my insanity of preaching to the T.V. is ...

THEY PREACHED FIRST . And believe me they are preaching. I believe some of it isn't so innocent but part of an agenda (Like that flood of gay character and themed shows ) Others just belligerently preach a flawed theology that God is a big meany cuz he won't let them play in the mud. Truth is they can play in the mud if they choose to do so - but it seems they what to pull others in with them.

God can stick up for him self but perhaps Christians should reject shows that undermine basic christian beliefs. I know how hard this is to do. The shows are entertaining and enticing on many levels. But when will Christians (I'm including myself ) avoid that which hammers at the fiber of who we are in Christ. One might say " hey that show isn't telling me what to do - it just a funny show that's kinda edgy". Unfortunately a part of the church is latching on to the morals portrayed in sitcoms more so than what is shown to us in scripture (this really is true ).

My daughter is watching a show right NOW that is presenting as normal a sexual relationship outside of wedlock between a single Rabbi and a young woman. My daughter thought that Jews allowed this kinda thing with no stigma. Again I say " they preached first". Yes, holy guys of all flavors do crappy stuff but it ain't supposed to be received as normal and right just because " People do this stuff ". This is mild compared to the portrayal of many of the christian characters in sitcoms. Harmless ribbing? I do think it's funny - I laugh - but maybe I should be crying.

I say they make a "Kimba the White Lion " channel - all Kimba all the time. No fornication, no church slamming there. Of course there is the question of what really happened to Kimba's dad. Oh well

Just blowing off steam.

Go Big! " CLICK"

A.D.D. and Dyslexia

2006-08-10T09:21:00.000-07:00

I was not diagnosed with A.D.D. or Dyslexia until the age of 28. I always just bought into what people had told me about my behavior and performance. I was told that I lacked motivation, I was disorganized, I was lazy and mentally unstable (crazy). When your own family tells you this stuff you kinda feel it must be true. I believed it. When I was finally diagnosed I went back to college to finish my Bachelors degree to enter seminary. I had left college to go to the gemological institute (I had problems there as well). My first two years of college and my education at the institute were horrible, in some classes I barely passed. After being diagnosed and was being treated by a physician I finished my last two years of undergrad with all A's then finished seminary with 3.65 GPA (Seminary was a little tougher than state college). I t was like living a miracle. I had pretty much thought myself retarded all my life. Now not so much .

Why I am I talking about this ?Well the A.D.D. thing seems to be touching me again only from outside myself this time. Within the last three weeks -two individuals I know have gone for A.D.D. testing and another has come to me for A.D.D. related counseling. I thought I'd give a little A.D.D. education as a public service here in BLOGVILLE.

1. Kids withe A.D.D. / A.D.H.D. do not grow out of A.D.D. . They just grow up to be adult with A.D.D. Kids that display the hyper activity symptoms with their A.D.D. will to stop that behavior as adults but the A.D.D. stays along for the ride.

2. Not everyone with A.D.D. displays hyperactivity. These individuals normally slip through the cracks and go undiagnosed through the school age years.

3. A.D.D. is not a psychotic mental illness. It is a malfunction in the processing center of the brain . People with A.D.D. tend to have normal to high IQs but they process info at a slower rate . That's why timed examinations are a bad idea for folks with A.D.D. Given enough time they achieve as well or better than anyone else.

4 A.D.D.ers tend to be emotional. Imagine feeling all the time like Lucy and Ethel (I Love Lucy illustration please bare with) in the chocolate factory episode where they are working as candy packers . Lucy and Ethel are trying to pack all the candy that pass by them on a conveyor belt. But the candy is passing by too fast to get it all in the box. Makes for a hilarious sitcom episode but makes for sucky life. Wouldn't pretty much anyone be emotional if they were overwhelmed and frustrated all the time?

5. A.D.D. can be treated but not cured. Through pharmaceuticals, new life skills and above all prayer, the person with A.D.D. can cope with the affliction very well.

Those are some facts about A.D.D. that some of you may have known already. Here are facts that I would you all to know that really no one know except for me.

1. People with A.D.D tend to be very good looking and should be told so all the time (It helps the A.D.D.)
2. Hunting and fishing make the person with A.D.D. smarter and easier to live with so they should be encouraged to go as often as possible.
3. People with A.D.D. are never wrong so you shouldn't argue with them (especially spouses and rector's counsel members)
4. Rush Limbaugh doesn't believe that A.D.D. is real. People with A.D.D. would like to kick Rush's butt (and it's big)
5. Patience is needed with A.D.D.ers. It's not that we don't want to pay attention it's just that the cloud in the sky above us as we talk looks just like winnie the pooh. Now who wouldn't be distracted by that ?
6. A.D.D. folks have a hard time completing tasks. Please forgive us.
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IT 'S ALIVE! THE BLOG CHALLENGE IS BACK

2006-07-14T13:01:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I read a good blog challenge.
Here is the challenge for all takers: funny and embarrassing childhood moments involving toys or play things.
Second challenge for all takers: hilarious church stories involving food.
Third challenge: gross us out
Tell us if you are accepting a challenge by saying so in the comments on this entry. This is so we can all look forward to it.

So it's been a year - what's God doing?

2006-07-13T12:42:00.000-07:00

Fr Jim left All Saints a year ago and I have been Rector ever since. I've been doing a lot of talking to God lately. Has God's will been followed in the last year? Why no monumental growth.
My biggest mistake is asking questions like that and just doing something before having a definitive answer from God.==== But it takes him soooooooo long to answer most of the time !
Another problem with asking question like that is that most of the time they are asked from insecurity. Those question are rigged to fall back on my head an send me into a flat spin .
No more questions! I'll just listen for a while and abandon critical thinking for enjoying the good God has done in the last year .
If anyone has pictures from this past year at out please send them to me - I will post them here.
God has been good to us !
Go big !

You are wrong !

2006-07-12T17:50:00.000-07:00

I have heard that a lot in my life . And I say it some. Lately I've been hearing people saying it about others that I love. It's getting a little nuts. I'm OK with people thinking others wrong and are willing fight to the death for their point of view. But even if you're right do you have the to condemn someone? NO ! SO GET OUT OF GOD'S CHAIR!
12 years ago I have yelled and screamed at a brother in Christ because I knew they were wrong. I still believe that scripturally I was correct. That person stopped talking me. Even when I apologized for my behavior they wanted nothing to do with me. I take responsibility for that whole episode. You see , I was right but I was WRONG!. I insisted that he make a correction because he was entrenched in believing something wrong because it served him well. But I wanted to beat him into believing correctly . My false righteousness killed a friendship. Oh, I 'm still right but I lost a friend. And it wasn't even something that is going to send him to hell.
I was condemning and destructive- That is no way to operate in the Body of Christ.
I see this happening a lot lately and it is sad. Christians do wacko stuff because we think we're right. We pray against people or leave churches because we know they are wrong. The truth is that we need to take responsibility for ourselves first and really pray whether the offence is truly such a heresy that warrants battle. Or heaven forbid - maybe we should question whether we're actually right.
Go Big and Love Each Other- (not an option)

Seeing Jesus

2006-07-11T14:18:00.000-07:00

If we want to see Jesus we really don't need to look far . I have sometimes cried out " Where are you Jesus?" There were times when I felt that He had left me. I felt alone . I was wrong! I was told by a priest that if I prayed the prayer of St Francis and lived it every day I couldn't help but see Jesus.http://www.zarcrom.com/users/yeartorem/stfrancis.html I was kid(19), I just did what I was told. It changed my life. It's a prayer that is centered on giving and not receiving. Within a few days I began to see Jesus like I never thought. The prayer is basically asking God remove all desire from you and replace it with caring for others. The Lord gave me eyes to see outside myself . I was no longer preoccupied with my own affliction but was drawn to help and love others. I had been in the position "sick person "too long and had taken it as an occupation. When others became my focus " I saw Jesus". When Jesus says" Truly ,I say to you, as you did it to the least of these my brethren. that you do it unto ME" (Matt 25:40) HE wasn't messin around. I saw Jesus in drug addicts, homeless and the elderly . Some of us are looking for a face to face experience with Jesus. Step outside yourself. You are probably the biggest obstacle in seeing Jesus. Get out of way, focus on others and see Jesus.
Try this : Look at the image that I have posted focusing intensely on the four little dots in the center of the image for about 40 seconds. Close your eyes and relax. Tell me what you see.
Go and see Jesus.

Hey Mon 2006

2006-07-08T14:13:00.000-07:00

One year ago I wrote an entry entitled " Hey Mon". It was about a conflict I had with the owner of the bicycle shop next to the church. Roger hadn't communicated clearly about a shin dig that he had in the parking lot that we share and we were unable to have service.
What could have started a feud sparked a friendship. God has bonded Roger and I together. I see him as kind of a strange ministry partner. I have done ton of ministry in his shop. It's a mission field and I thank God for Roger and the bike shop.
Gotta go== Roger's annual shin dig is starting at 4:00pm .
The Church is providing a pinata and bottled water for everyone.
Off to the mission field - Just follow the sound of the steel drum!

Teenaged Daughters and Wacko Fathers

2006-07-07T07:13:00.000-07:00

My Father had three sons I am the eldest. He used to say that the devil owed him a debt and paid him off in sons. I think he meant that negatively. I have three daughters and a son. Two of those daughters are teenagers, the other one just thinks she's one. We have entered a time in the Mski house where language doesn't work. At least for me. I speak and it is either misinterpreted or ignored. Example "please take out the trash" - ignored - 10 mins later "please take out the trash" - ignored- 1 hour later-"hey , take out the trash" - ignored- 20 mins later "Take out the damn trash!" a shocked teenage girl replies- "why are you yelling at me, I was just going to take it out."
OK - I'm a flawed man about this there is no doubt - but there is something wrong with this. It is becoming ever increasingly difficult to live in a house where I am wrong no matter what I say. If I tell the teenage daughter she looks pretty she gets mad. If I tell her that the pants look small I am told with tears in eyes that I always saying she's fat. They say it's a phase.
I think I'm going through a phase too. Why do I have the need to say something to them all the time. It's as if I feel my parenting is coming to an end very soon and I have to impart as much wisdom as possible before they leave us. Weird ! It's like I am compelled to say something that will be misconstrued. Or I get hurt that they won't talk to me about every little thing.
My superiors have called me "A Very Gifted Counselor". Oh Doctor heal thy self! In my relationship with my girls I make every mistake a counselor /spiritual director can. The most blatant is that I have a need to be understood, honored and loved. In the counseling it's about others and their need. With the daughter it is too often how they are failing the expectations of the king of the house. Sheesh - I just read what I wrote -
I might have to take some responsibility in this toxic rumba that I dance with my daughters - ARRRRGGG!
Oh well, pray for me a sinner and for two of the most awesome young women on the planet - my girls.

Wife Seeks Hunting Companions For Reckless Husband

2006-07-06T07:07:00.000-07:00

OK, Here's the story. Last hunting season I went on an ordinary quail hunt with Kimo the wonder dog . It was a late afternoon hunt so I left the house at 3:00pm . I noticed heavy traffic on the So. bound 5 by Pyramid Lake on my way to the hunting spot. I made a mental note of it. So Kimo and I have great time. When I left my house my wife told me not to go to any "Dangerous Places" because "you will fall down break your leg and die - then I'll be mad - cuz I'll have to take care of your dog". Compassion is one of Joann's spiritual gifts. With that said I was pretty cautious. Hey - it's hunting not walking in the super market there's always a little risk when walking over rocks and sticks with a firearm in your hands.
Kimo and had a great time. We hunted for an hour and a half but it was coming dusk (still good light) so we went home. Remember the mental note I made about the traffic, well I ignored it and 5 minutes after I got on the freeway I was stuck in traffic. I listened to the radio and heard "Expect 3 to 5 hour delays. Crap ! Oh well, I will just call my loving wife. OOOPS - no cell phone . No problem - Joann knows how cautious I am - OOOOOPS - She doesn't think I'm that cautious.
So I get home - uh- Joann doesn't seem that happy . And before even talking to me rushes to the phone and starts calling. I hear " Thank you very much sheriff- he's home now - I'm so glad I caught you in time " OK - who was that ? She still wasn't talkin' to me - " I have to call your brother" - She's close to my brother but does she have to call him now? " Your brother would like to talk to you - he was on his way to go and find you" what ? huh? I'm right here !-
So the convo goes like this -
Me - "Hey bud
Bro- "Hey Dumb Ass- I was just on my way with Mike (best fiend ) to pull your dead carcass out of a hole in Sh-- Canyon"
Me-"I was just stuck in traffic - thanks for caring though -I appreciate it "
Bro-"Hey mike - rich says he was just stuck in traffic - and he appreciates us -- Listen to me Grizzly Adams, Everybody knows how you like to be one with the mountain and we also know how you fall down walking to the living room - PEOPLE WERE WORRIED!"
Me - "Sorry- I would have called but I left my phone "
Bro- "Mike - he's says he's sorry, he forgot his cell phone - We were going to turn around and go home but I think we'll keep going til we get to your house and come up and STAPLE YOUR CELL PHONE TO YOUR ASS!"
Me - I love you
Bro - yeah - me too.

Some of the language was a bit harsh but please remember that it was real life, before getting offended . The conversation with my wife is not printable. Hence, the need for hunting mates.
Hunting season starts in less than two months. You will find a link for Hunters safety classes below. Even if you're not crazy about hunting you might want to come to pray with (or for) your priest. My wife thanks you.

http://www.scvqu.com/Online%20Hunter%20Education.htm

Fountain of Youth !

2006-07-05T07:12:00.000-07:00

Sometime ago the Lord spoke into my heart that "Laudate" (our youth service) needs to be led by the youth themselves. This was always the plan as this is the way the do it at the Cathedral. But for one reason or another I have basically been doing it all myself. NOT GOOD! Well as I wrote previously Stevie preached on Saturday. The attendance by youth went up like 500%. It was a confirmation that basically I am just to be "a liturgical tool"(Scott get your mind out of the gutter ) and this is not to be "The Fr Rich Show". Pray that more young people will step up and take leadership role at Laudate like Stevie , Mikie and Naomi. I confess that Laudate has been a thorn in my side (see Scott it's not just you). But no more -God has given me clarity and He'll do the rest. I'm excited!
Do that BIG thing!

BIG FAT SCAREDY CAT!

2006-07-04T12:58:00.000-07:00

Oh Yeah ! I preach about having faith in Jesus with "Reckless Abandon" But how do I fare in actually doing it ?
I'll tell you in about a week when I have done or haven't done what I need to do.

PRAY BIG!

Sometimes You Just Gotta Do It Anyway

2006-07-01T15:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you know that what you are about to do will result in a massive tush whoopin but you know you have to do it. When I was younger and prone to break the rules I would weigh whether the cost of the punishment I would get would out way the pleasure I would get from breaking whatever the rule was. Now that I'm ancient and not prone to break rules I find that something similar happens with doing the right thing. You've heard " that no good deed goes unpunished " well it's kinda true. There are consequences for doing the right thing. Jesus talked about this when he said " count the cost " of following Him.
Sometimes you have to do stuff that you know will cost you . And it's "The Right Thing" to do. I've done many things like that . Lately I see some people I love in that same situation . In one case if they step out on faith and do what God is asking them to do they will die. Not like with a casket and flowers and stuff but to themselves and the world. Yet they will have an awesome life in Jesus. But God's grace is such that even they can't bring themselves to do that " big thing " God will still love them . How does that work? You can be disobedient and God will still love and bless you ? Yep. In human terms it is insane. But for God it's just the nature of His grace.
All the more reason to do those costly things. Stepping out in faith will cause its share of bruises but listening to God and practicing staying in his presence far out way a few lumps.
Now that's reckless abandon right there.

a preacher?

2006-07-01T14:43:00.000-07:00

This is Stevie. He has been a part of our church family for some years now. The lord has done awesome things in his life and he's only 18 years old. WOW! Stevie is seeking God for what he's supposed to do with his life. This is a trial at any age . Stevie is an awesome young who has a hunger to tell everyone how Jesus can change a person's life .
So today at 6:oopm Stevie will preach his first sermon. He will preach at the Youth Mass. Please pray for him. I know that Stevie has an anointing and I'm excited to hear him preach. I have a feeling that many people that wouldn't normally come to church will come to hear Stevie tonight - pray that God's speak to them through Stevie.
God is doing stuff!

my prayers

2006-06-30T11:51:00.000-07:00

I guess I pray more than most, a lot less than many. I find myself need to pray more and more. Not that I actually have more things to pray for than normal. I just feel compelled to pray more . I want to spend more time with Jesus. I would invite all who are being pulled by God to the same thing to join me . I mean really join me if you like . I will be on my front porch at 5:30 am weekday mornings and Mon and Thurs at 9:30 pm . Just praying- just stop by - bring your BCP to do the daily office.
Going Big

Again with the nostalgia

2006-06-27T14:09:00.000-07:00

Most of you won't remember "Sigmund and the Sea Monsters". I loved this show when I kid. Heck, I still like it, although I have haven't seen a complete episode since 1975. Sigmund was a sea monster who ran away to escape a family that didn't love him. Soon after his departure a wealthy relative pledges to give the family millions of clams (currency in their culture). But there's a hitch - no Sigmund = NO CLAMS. So Sigmund's evil idiot brothers Burp and Slurp are given the task to find him and bring him back. Sigmund has been befriended by brothers Johnny and Scott. He took refuge in the club house in their backyard.
Ah the 1970's when there was still just a bit of innocence. Sigmund was my pitied hero. I could never understand why he would leave his family even if they were crappy. But he was honest to a fault and always ended up doing the right the thing (except returning to his family). I nick named my two brothers burp and slurp because of the show.
Sigmund kinda reminds me of Gideon - a scared reluctant hero who despite himself manages to the right thing.
Perhaps I can relate to Sigmund - I don't know. Maybe it was just fun to watch. There are very few T.V shows that I like anymore probably because I judge them against a silly obscure Sid and Marty Kroft show. (creators of H.R. Puffinstuff, the Bugaloos. Dr Shrinker, Electric Woman and Dyna girl and many others).
I know it seems random to talk about this show out of the blue but nostalgia is comforting when reality sucks. Not that my life is lame but a little mindless remembering "back in the day" is a vacation from the complex world I live in.
Take 30 seconds and be a little mindless.

My wife inspires me .

2006-06-26T13:26:00.000-07:00

My wife is the most amazing woman I know. She does more than anyone I know. Way more than me. With all the stuff she does she still manages to Blog almost every day. I have good intention but I get discouraged after a few entries. Blogging isn't something that will absolutely change one's life but I see that my wife benefits from her consistency and she really does effect others with her entries. So I will one again begin to blog. And so here it goes -
Going Big - REALLY !

Tattoos evil ?

2006-05-17T15:17:00.001-07:00

Some think that I am anti tattoo - I am not. In fact sometimes I think they're cool- but not always. Paul says that "all things are permissible but not all things are beneficial". I'll go with Paul on the subject of tattoos. Are tattoos evil? most of the time no - can they be ?- yeah - I've seen a couple that have spurred me to pray. Are they beneficial - well maybe if you had a treasure map tattooed on your thigh or maybe the dates of your anniversary and wife's b-day on your wrist or something.
If I ever go to the Holy Land (Israel- Charlie, Borders is a blessed place but not the Holy Land) I might get a an Armenian pilgrims tattoo which is a very small budded cross with the year of your pilgrimage.
People don't get tattoos for the same reasons that the prohibition was given in Leviticus. Those tattoos had more to do with a specific Babylonian magical practice.
It's just ink on skin - but it is for ever- so pray it about - yep you can even pray about getting a tattoo -
Go Big

My Tattoo

2006-05-16T14:56:00.000-07:00

If I were to ever get a tattoo (not likely to happen )it would simply be dark gothic letters that said" Leviticus 19:28"
What would your tattoo look like ?
Oh and look up that Leviticus verse-

God has you covered?

2006-05-11T10:06:00.000-07:00

A few you weeks back I started telling people "God has you covered". For some this is comforting and for others those are just the words of a simpleton priest. When I say "God has you covered " I'm talking about His grace and mercy. Imagine God's grace as much needed rain in the desert. Picture the beautiful rain falling down on thousands of whithering plants and all of a sudden you see many of the plants pulling out umbrellas to shelter themselves from the rain. BUT IT'S LIFE GIVING RAIN! Why ever would they not want to receive it. They are dying without it yet they actually protect themselves from it as though it is poison. I put away my umbrella awhile ago. LET IT POUR!
God's grace is constant and eternal. The very nature of God's grace and mercy is to cover all people and give them life. Jesus is that grace and mercy. Jesus (God) wants to cover us with grace and mercy that we would live NOW AND FOREVER! God's grace and mercy like the rain in the desert covers everything but it is possible to seek shelter from it . But the reality is that the rain is still covering everything yet it is not allowed to be absorbed by everything .
In reality God has you covered. Have you built a shelter so as not to receive his grace and mercy? Step out and get drenched. Let it pour!
More later
Go Big "GOD HAS YOU COVERED"

Another Man's Faith

2006-05-10T06:26:00.000-07:00

A week ago tragedy struck one of the families in our parish. The head of that household has been a member of our church for 7 years and serves at the altar with me. I always knew he was deeply committed to Jesus but I never imagined the depth of his faith. His struggle to continue life experiencing the joy of his salvation while honestly mourning his loss is one of the most beautiful things I've witnessed as a priest. His faith blesses me. I've prayed with him, cried with him and even managed to laugh with him during this time of great sadness. I pray that we all had the faith to mourn this beautifully. Jesus is his everything. What can be more beautiful than that.
This is another example of that "Reckless Abandon" that I have bored people to tears with. This is fall down crazy kind of faith. And I thank God that I have witnessed it.
It's hard to go bigger than this.
GO BIG!

Listening

2006-04-22T23:47:00.000-07:00

So I've been doing this listening to God thing. Well tonight after I had preached my prepared sermon the Lord gave me another one. It was on the 3 chapter of Malachi. Until this evening I have never preached from it because it makes me uncomfortable. Lord not only gave me the word but he also gave me total comfort. Afterwards someone came to tell l me that God spoke to them through me. Honestly it freaks me out (in good way) how God is working in my ministry lately. I'll keep listening.
Go big

God Rocks!

2006-04-21T17:49:00.000-07:00

During Holy week I noticed that I was getting way too obsessed with the details of the all the special liturgies and that I wasn't listening to God . I repented and for many days prayed that God would Grant me the grace to hear from - and listen to God.
So Wednesday at Taize (our Wednesday night Eucharist) Michael one of our subdeacons was setting up for the service and I stopped him from setting up the Gospelbook. It was the proper reading according to the liturgical calender but I had prepared my sermon from the daily office of prayer for that day . Michael said that he was kind of looking forward to me preaching on the "Walk to Emmaus" which was the liturgical calendar reading for that day. I told Michael that I could preach on Emmaus but not now. And I repeated that I wanted him to read from the daily office of prayer. He would do so with no dissension.
As Michael was about to read the Gospel that I instructed him to I felt compelled to stop him and tell him (Michael) to read the proper Gospel for the day. Michael looked perplexed when I told him so I repeated myself and he said "Praise the Lord". I didn't know why he said that and didn't much care.
After reading the gospel Michael leaned over to me and said "Fr Rich please pray because I think I have the word tonight". I knew with absolutely no doubt that he was supposed to preach. I knew that it was God speaking to me and I was freakin out just a bit. I blessed Michael to preach and when he arrived at the pulpit he proceeded to pull a sermon notes from his pocket. He would tell how God prompted him to take a sermon that he wrote a year ago with him to church this night. But he felt that I had to tell him to preach and that he wasn't to tell me. So he wasn't sure what was going to happen.
When he pulled those notes out of his pocket I wanted to cry . I know that God was testing me to see if I would listen. Last week I wouldn't have listened because that kind of thing wouldn't have fit into my schedule or agenda.
God does indeed speak to us but we need to constantly pray away our own crud that gets in the way.
Go Big

Ah fasting

2006-03-13T15:25:00.000-08:00

Any ideas as to what I 've been thinking about? nuf sed

lent

2006-03-10T06:52:00.000-08:00

Lent is a time of penitence and introspection . More or less it is a time where we let God do a deep cleaning within us. For forty days we fast, make confession and live simpler lives to prepare for the feast of the resurrection(Easter). But shouldn't we do this all the time? Yes, but we don't. At least most of us don't . A good amount of Christians don't recognize Lent. Many have no clue what it is. Others regard it as something the Catholics do and put in the pile of meaningless ritualistic practices. Sad really. Anything can be meaningless if done without sincerity and understanding. Lent has always been a time for me personally that God does some major work. Sometimes it is soooo hard to look deep into myself. It's scary in there. But I have learned to Hold Jesus' hand as I take that introspective walk inside myself. It's not as scary but the hard part is doing something about the crud I find in there. Again Jesus helps. His grace has become the air I breath mostly because of my Lenten experiences. I pray the same for you.

ESCEPOPO

2006-03-08T08:17:00.000-08:00

You guys know that I like spicey food. But for the last year or so I 've been on a quest to find the best "ESCABECHE". Escabeche is pretty much any food item drowned in vinegar ,lemon juice or both. But for the purposes of this rant we will limit escabeche to mean chile peppers and other vegetables in vinegar and spices. I liken my quest to the one in that movie "Tampopo" which the characters were in search of the perfect bowl of ramen noodles.
Well after eating dozens of home made and store bought escabeche concoctions I have found the best . But that isn't enough for this humble servant of God . I must be able to imitate it. The restaurant that makes this close to divine mixture won't part with the recipe and I don't expect them to. So I go and visit this restaurant once a week to eat their authentic Mexican cuisine . You got it - I just happen to eat to pounds of the escabeche they have at the condiment station. I analyze every well chewed bite. And for over a year one thing eluded me. One spice that I couldn't identify by flavor. And they make it very hard to figure out what spices they use cuz some how they filter them out so there are no leaves or seeds to be seen. I think they are mean and do it on purpose so people can't copy their recipe. But yesterday as I finished my bean and guacamole burrito I helped myself to some free escabeche and after finishing the jalapeno I had discomfort in the gum above my left top canine. I pulled out the foreign object with my fingers. Never was I so pleased to have something caught between mt teeth . Yes! It was the elusive spice that up 'til this moment I couldn't put my finger on. GOD IS GOOD? Now I can reproduce the perfect escabeche.
Would you like to know what spice it is ? Please email your request to www.notachance.com

the root

2006-03-02T12:25:00.000-08:00

I was recently confronted by two different people a day apart about the "root" of certain fears I have intermittently in my life. This made me mad. I could blow off the first one easy enough but the same question twice in less than 24 hours. Hmmmm, maybe it's God. Ya think? So I'm praying - nothing.Then later when I'm eating the Lord shows me the root of my fears. I saw myself as a boy(7 or 8 years old) running a 5O yard dash against this kid Mike Higashi. I was running as fast as I could but he was beating me easily. Then I felt my upper body move forward and my legs just couldn't get underneath my shoulders and I fell then rolled in a dusty cloud. My father was on the other side of the track with my little brother so he had his friend watching me. At the end of the race I was crying of course and my did dad's friend says "you're not hurt, you're bawlin' 'cause ya got beat - knock it off and let's go see your dad" It's true, I wasn't hurt really and getting beat felt bad but I was crying because I tried my hardest and I couldn't even stay on my feet.
I never knew how much that day changed me until today. Often I would hold back just a little so as not to do my best so if I failed I wouldn't have that feeling of having to spit dirt at the end of the race after falling. Somehow I got the message that trying my best would hurt me and wasn't worth the danger. At age 29 I struggled to give that up and I did for the most part. When I returned to University I went from previously being an C- student to an A student. But every once in a while I start to feel like my upper body is moving forward and my legs can't keep up. In other words I feel like I'm gonna take another dirt dive. I don't like that feeling . Lately I have been trying to live what I preach " Go Big or Go Home". Part of me wants to hold back just in case things don't work out, so as I can stay on my feet.
Not this time - If I eat dirt fine - but I will swallow it knowing that I did my very best for the King of Glory. Nothing less will do.

Looking Back to the Days of the Naked Barbies

2006-02-20T16:56:00.000-08:00

I remember when the biggest irritation that my daughters caused was leaving naked Barbies around the house so that I Might step on them in the middle of the night . They would always be strategically placed so the toes of the doll would be pointed straight up so to puncture the soft arch of my foot . It would drive me bananas. That's when the girls were three and five. Now they're 15 and 13 and I would welcome back the days of the naked Barbies with oh sooo open arms - Yeesh- No details needed
I

Cheney

2006-02-15T08:57:00.000-08:00

My wife sent me the story of the vice presidents shooting his good friend when the story broke. I immediately wanted to cry FOR MANY REASONS. I felt bad for the man who was shot. Poor guy just wanted to pick up a downed bird and KABLAM he takes a shell in the face. He didn't deserve that. It wasn't right.
I also feel deeply for the vice president. I knew that the media was going to make this a story of national importance. And now many days have passed and they are still all over him. As a hunter myself I know the responsibility one must take when you pull that trigger. Life and death depend on the shooters vigilance about safety . In one split second tragedy can strike . It can strike be cause of absolute negligence or even when someone is trying to do everything right.
Dick Cheney didn't wake up that morning and decide to shoot one of his best friends in the face. He went to shoot a bird and and shot a man. He may have been totally negligent, I don't know.
I do know that in my life I have inflicted horrible injury on a person never ever intending to harm them . I weep thinking about it to this day. I can not take back what I did neither can Dick Cheney . He hasn't really commented on the shooting yet and people have been sharpening their knives for days. I know why he hasn't - and it has nothing to do with public opinion and scrutiny. The man shot himself when he shot his friend. He never thought that he could be the perpetrator of such a tragedy. Whether he was negligent or not HE IS RESPONSIBLE. It was his finger that pulled that trigger and he knows it. I believe that he should have spoken right away but I understand why he hasn't. Life sucks for him right now. People are laughing, blaming organizing anti gun and hunting crud but Cheney has to go this one by himself. His friend could have died ,Cheney probably wants to at moments.
We tend to disqualify certain people from being worthy of our compassion for one reason or the other. The man that got shot, he gets it, absolutely. But Cheney? Most people who are joking and commenting never liked him to begin with. I never much cared for him myself. But I have compassion for him. And yes, I have had a similar thing happen in my life. But I would like to think I would still have compassion for him.
I pray that no one else ever has to feel the pain of being the cause of a tragedy .

Refrigerator Zombie

2006-02-11T16:30:00.000-08:00

We have all stood in front of the fridge with the door wide open and just stared. Our eyes tracking side ways and down. And after three minutes we decide there is nothing to eat. the truth is that there is plenty to eat , but it doesn't excite us. It's not delectable.
We often do this with our spiritual fridge. We stand there with the door wide open looking for something to put in our spiritual stomachs but can't seem to find anything that is worth eating. There's plenty of stuff in there but nothing excites us. That's because we have been deceived to think that we need constant gratifying stimulus. Let's face it guys , you can't eat ice cream all the time (Yes Alena , you could give it a good shot though) If you look closely at those shelves you will find Prayer, Worship, Sacrifice, Surrender and Service. These definitely don't look delicious but I you don't know just how nutritious this stuff is. I guarantee that a balanced diet of this stuff will give you spiritual health that you probably never thought attainable. And God will provide a dessert tray of blessings after you eat the stuff that tastes like broccoli. So don't just "zombie out " in front of the fridge, grab some spiritual food and wash it down with a cup of faithfulness.
This entry was inpired by Canon Gary's "Spiritual Snacks"
Go Big!

More on Pain

2006-02-01T07:00:00.000-08:00

I once was chaplaining in a hospital a while ago and a nurse asked me to please see a certain patient because they crying and carrying on. The nurse looked as if she was gonna snap. I leaned in and whispered "do ya think it could be because she's sick and in the hospital?"The nurse softened, smiled, made the sign of the cross and said "bless me father for I have sinned " I hugged her and went in to see the patient.
This nurse is the only one that has a hard time dealing with other peoples pain. we all do that at times. Some more than others. It says in scripture that our Lord looked at the crowd and had compassion on them. He felt their pain. I have experienced that - It's hard! But on some level it is necessary for all of us to do so that we are truly imitating Christ as we ought to. It's scary to feel someone else's pain when we don't even want to feel our own. But we are "one body" and if one part hurts the whole body suffers. Be bold , allow yourself to get close enough to others to feel their pain then their joy.
Go Big

The neccessity of pain and hurt .

2006-01-28T14:38:00.000-08:00

Pain is lame but necessary. Pain is seen as the enemy but is that how God intended for us to view it? Is pain actually a help to us. Yes , absolutely! I wish it wasn't so but there is truth in "NO PAIN, NO GAIN". Several people I love are going through immense emotional pain. My initial response is to want to take it away. But I can't. If I was able take the pain for them for a while to give them a breather I would but it would be a mistake to totally remove it prematurely. Pain serves a purpose it tells us there is an injury that needs our attention. Say you had a pulled muscle, no doubt it would hurt like hell. If you numbed it up so you couldn't feel and then proceeded normally you would risk a greater injury. That would be a dumb thing to do . Taking something for a short time to help you deal with the pain(not totally numbing ) until the injury is healed would be the brighter path.
With emotional pain we tend to want to numb it up. Everyone has their own way of doing it. Some work too much, some deny the pain, some drink and some scream and cry ouch for years but never actually deal with the pain its(it's weird but it's the same as the others).
Pain is there to tell us that something in us needs healing.
People like to go through these painful times on their own. Let's go back to a bodily illustration. If you were playing a sport and injured your leg on the field or court wouldn't you allow the other players to help you to the sidelines. Of course you would! Unless you were particularly bone headed. (I did this once, not smart at all ). Let the other players help you! We're a family in Christ. Christ within each of us can help and heal. But not if you won't allow it.
Being someone in the "Help Biz" I am proned not to ask for help when I need it. I've pretty much quit that style of thinking. I have three people that consistently help me off the field when I need it . They are God's gift to me, channels of healing and a means of grace.
Pain is necessary but help is available, let's all use it.
More on this tomorrow.

On Being Severe

2006-01-18T09:25:00.000-08:00

At first glance this picture seems severe and even macabre. But when told that the man in the picture is a monk who tends the bones of the martyrs and not the maniacal man servant of a serial killer then the picture means something totally different. I have recently come to terms with the severity that I project more than occasionally. It makes me sad that I am misunderstood even sadder that I put people off. Then sadness turns toxic and I don't like that. I thought about doing a ministerial make over to have more of a rainbow and puppy dog cast to my persona. I used to where my cassock a lot more but I became fearful that it set me too far apart from people so I stopped wearing it . And it's not just what I wear , I come across as a "Hard Ass"( ask Carsten for the link to his blog entry that makes mention of this).
So I am sitting here this morning lamenting the fact that I project a very severe image and how it may cause the ruin of Christendom as we know it (I'M VERY DRAMATIC IN THE MORNING). And then God stepped in. He made me look at the ministries of St Ignatius, St Francis, Smith Wigglesworth,Martin Luther, Maximillian Kolbe and Bishop Raymundo Abogatal. All of them better servants than I but talk about severe. St Iggy lectured his congregation for trying to spare him from martydom. St Francis rejected all the comfort of the world and wore rags . Martin Luther shook his fist at papacy to put Christ back in the center of the church (Martin Luther was also a wacko but God loves wackos too ). Max Kolbe lived severe servanthood by harboring Jews in his monastery and was imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp(he actually helped the young soldier prepare his lethal injection of carbolic acid and gave the soldier absolution for his sin) . Smith Wigglesworth was a plumber that gave his life to Christ in a Pentecostal church. His presence was so severe that people often remarked that they felt as if they were going to die when they stood next to him (he actually made people aware of Gods judgment on their sinful lives). Bp Raymundo wears a cross big enough that my 4yr old Luke could do chin ups on it. And he does this in the most dangerous Muslim region in the Philippines. He says he wants the Muslims to know that Jesus died for their sins. He is very aware that it could cost him his life. He loves the Muslims that much AND I'M WORRIED ABOUT WEARING MY CASSOCK!

I started thinking that maybe I'm not so severe after all. Where the heck did I put that cassock.
Go Big or Go Home !

Food I do not like

2006-01-17T21:56:00.001-08:00

I was thinking about food that I do not like. For many years I would not drink any brown liquids. I'm over that. Up until recently I wouldn't eat anything with cooked pineapple. I'm over that too. I spent about 7 minutes trying to think of some foods I didn't. Alas, there are none.
I am a pig! I eat any thing. What kind of human does that.
So I encourage you please challenge me. I need to find some food that I would not eat. Don't challenge me to eat non food OK. No wood. No children's toys. Just stuff that is table fare at family dinner somewhere on the planet.
I know. This is not deep or theological. Silly is OK sometimes.
Bring it on !

Brother's House

2006-01-16T11:44:00.000-08:00

Years ago a bunch of surf bums gave there lives to Jesus Christ and decided to live together committed to God, prayer and service to His Church. That was 25 0r 30 years ago and it was the beginning of what is now called the Brother's House. Now there are 12 young men from 18 to 30 who live together in one house (a large house). These guys are sold out for Jesus 100% and provide precious service to the Cathedral Church in San Clemente. I have prayed that God would raise up a Brother's House in our church . I grew up in a church that had 3 communities of nuns that served the church. I miss a church that had people living in community as they did in the beginning of the church. And the community that it brought to the church. The nuns helped the church immeasurably. And the members of the church, knowing that the nuns lived modestly would help them with donations of food and the occasional timely cash or check. There were a couple of men in the church who would visit the nun's house to see what was in disrepair and fix stuff. It made for a nice community. These communities were also little houses of prayer that lifted up the church and individuals up in prayer daily.
Lord may be bringing the Brother's House to All Saints. I would ask that all who read this to pray for this. Pray that if this is truly Gods will he will raise it up and bless it.
Go Big

Hawaiian Invasion

2006-01-11T08:21:00.001-08:00

No really , it's a good thing . My best friend from seminary is visiting from Hawaii with his family. It's nice to see them. The kids (Samuel and Naomi) are really cute and smart. Keith (my pal) is the same. He funny and intense and always has something in his craw that must be talked about. I love it. You don't have to guess where you stand with Keith. If he loves you he be hugging you very soon(6'1" 200lbs Chinese guy). If he doesn't like you - he will hug you until he does. His wife Wendy is the rudder of reason in the relationship. She's very creative and smart and has no problem telling the great big Chinese guy the truth. God did a good job there. Today Keith and I will go to the Chinese market to buy live crab(they're cheaper there) to cook and eat.
Friends are a good thing. I didn't know how much I've missed them.
Aloha

Scattered Pellets

2005-12-22T22:47:00.000-08:00

A shotgun is my firearm of choice. Rifles are good for stationary targets at a long distance but not so good for small moving targets. A shotgun has many pellets as opposed to a rifle that only has one larger projectile. Having many projectiles increases that chance that you will hit the intended target.The shortcoming of the shotgun is that the energy from the shotgun shell from the time of firing is distributed among many projectiles thus decreasing the range. The short story on shotguns is that they aren't worth a hoot for long distance. The pellets from a shotgun will also spread out as they the travel and eventually the scattering of the pellets will be wide enough to allow an intended target to get away unscathed even though the shot was actually on target. One key to hitting the target is to fire while the target is in range.
Why am I spewing shotgun ballistics?
Well, I received a word today that my "Shot was scattered". This was regarding a specific decision that I have to make but I can apply this to other aspects of my life and ministry. Not in all cases but in some I am right on target but on others I'm out of range. I'M NOT GETTING CLOSE ENOUGH TO MY TARGET! OR PERHAPS NOT LETTING IT GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO ME ! HMMMMM
Jesus would have been a great shotgunner (my personal opinion). Jesus had a ministry of preaching, teaching and healing. He went out to the people and he allowed people to approach him. His ministry was always at close range. Of course He's God so is accuracy is greater than ours.
Peoples hearts and souls are our targets. The gospel, love and the gifts of the Holy Spirit are the pellets. So how do we get them in range? By following the example of our Lord. Go to them gently fire off a round of the gospel, love and the Holy Spirit. The love of Christ will often make people want the pellet to hit them. After the word gets out that a blast of the gospel will do great things, people will start coming in range on there own (conversions).
A weird analogy (all analogies have their limitations) but it works. More simply put "take to gospel to them, hand it to them, that's the best shot you have to have them receive it". Eventually people will come to you to have you hand it them because of your past accuracy with others.
Easily said - Now to actually do it. hmmm

"Jesus Thinks You're Cool"

2005-12-15T23:40:00.000-08:00

Years ago I had a meeting with my spiritual directer (Canon Gary -only one n in this kind of canon). He asked what I wanted do in ministry . My reply was" I just wanna tell people that Jesus is cool". He smiled and counseled me for 20 minutes or so. At the end of our meeting he leaned in closer to me as he was sitting across the table, lowered his head, looked at me over the top of his glasses and said "Jesus thinks you're cool".
All my life I had felt like an egg that's just a little broken. You know, the one you look for when you're buying eggs that's causes you to put the whole carton back on the shelf . To this day I refuse to check the eggs I buy (I'm a weirdo). To hear someone say " Jesus thinks you're cool" was like the Tylenol that all those ancient hurts within me needed. YET PART OF ME WOULDN'T HAVE IT. I am not cool. I am not smart. I am not much good at all. These old scripts tried to choke out this new thing . But then Canon Gary said "will to believe it".
How can I believe that Jesus thinks I'm cool when I'm sooooo LAME!. Well I started thinking - Hey, the bible says that Jesus healed the lame. I'm pretty lame, maybe he healed me when I wasn't lookin'- I still look the same - still cracked - but I am different. I belong to him and that's cool all by it's self. I believe it now - I m at least spiritually cool- but my daughters still hide there faces when I pick them up from the mall.
I tell this story cuz lately there has been an epidemic of self loathing amongst the people whom I love. I f you are reading this and you are one of them - (excuse me as as lean forward, lower my head and peer over my glasses {in reality they're lost right now}). Now listen.
JESUS THINKS YOU'RE COOL! NOW WILL TO BELIEVE IT !
LIVE HIS PROMISES!

Spanish Mass * (sighing in embarassment)

2005-12-07T09:17:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had one of those moments where you are speaking to a total stranger and every word they say hits a nerve and and you suddenly become aware that God is speaking to you through this person. Dang, I hate when that happens. It happened yesterday at a swapmeet of all places. I met this Mexican man who spoke little English but was very interested that I was priest (I was in clerics). He proceeded to converse with me about the church . He asked if we had a Mass in Spanish and I told him not at the moment. He looked down at the ground for a moment and gently kicked a little piece of gravel then looked up at me again and said "they need to have a Mass in Spanish". I was shocked because he said it with such authority. I told him that I didn't have much confidence in my Spanish and couldn't preach. He did the looking at the ground again and I knew I was in for it. "God will give you able to speaking". That beautiful and poorly constructed sentence absolutely convicted me. Here is this man, communicating to me a complicated theological truth in a language that he has no mastery in. DANG! Do you think that maybe that was a message for me? hmmmmmm
God has been dealing with me about the Spanish Mass thing for a while and I was doing my usual "la la la I can't hear you" thing. Well I heard him loud and clear through the broken English of this man named Roberto. I will start the Spanish Mass again in January. BUT I NEED HELP!God has already promised to bring it . I don't have any confidence in speaking Spanish. But I know that whole countries have accepted Jesus as savior through people who could barely speak their lingo. It's time for me to practice what I preach (again, I hate when that happens). It's hard to admit when something frightens you. Well, this Spanish Mass thing scares the squishy stuff out of me. I don't just want to get through the Mass, I know I can do that. I want to truly celebrate the Mass with them. That's way different. Pray hard cuz this priest is going BIG. I never knew I was such a scaredy cat.

Blog Challenges

2005-12-01T07:58:00.000-08:00

I guess I more less invented the "Blog Challenge" of which I am told I should not be proud of. (my daughter Jess said this). And I'm not. It was just a way for me to see my wife's creativity and it has become a fun thing to do and see others creativity. Some of you have blown me away with your wit and writing skills. Peg once met a whole list possible blog challenges in ONE entry(awesome). Scott met a blog challenge with a two word entry (it was funny). I really enjoy the "Blog challenge" I like to see people get creative . So I encourage you to challenge each other. There are people in our little blog family that have yet to be challenged directly to my knowledge. Some have have answered Joann's list of Blog Challenges but never have been directly challenged.
Charlie, Stacia, Alena, Scott, Peg, Steve, Naomi, Jess are some that may be in desperately need of blog challenge. A challenge can always be declined. It's just for fun. Perhaps just for my amusement.
I'm trying a new type blog Challenge. Normally we just come up with a strange title for a person to write on. The new challenge will merely come in the form of a picture to blog about. My wife will get the first one.
This will be silly to many of you. It is silly. Have fun!

Litany for the Advent Fast

2005-11-30T07:43:00.000-08:00

The following is my answer to the TOP 10 LIST.
THE LITANY

The proper response is "Lord hear our prayer"

For the ability to be introspective without totally hating ourselves. Let us pray to the Lord.
R/
For the ability to be introspective and not think we're doing everything right. Let us pray to the Lord.
R/
For the ability to be introspective at all . Let us pray to the Lord.
R/
That we may endeavor to dedicate ourselves to spend as much time seeking our savior as we do looking for our keys.(OK that one is for me but you know what I mean). Let us pray to Lord.
R/
For the abundance of fruits and vegetables and the ability to desire to eat them when everyone else at the table is eating big chunks of wonderful cheese.Let us pray to the Lord.
R/
That we may pray when it's hard and we don't want to because "House MD" is on .Let us pray to the Lord
R/
For the grace to bear the Liturgical changes and not be bugged that one of the servers is wearing blue and white checkered vans behind the altar. (again mainly for me)Let us pray to the Lord.
R/
For the grace to receive forgiveness from a kind God when we know we don't deserve it . Let us pray to the Lord.
R/
For the ability to receive Jesus' words not to"WORRY AND BE ANXIOUS" this season. Let us pray to the Lord.
R/
For the grace to put ourselves last and the hostile stranger behind us in line at the mall first .Let us pray to the Lord.
R/

Now that's some RECKLESS ABANDON right there- I don't care who you are -
GO BIG!

Bicycle blues

2005-11-29T23:19:00.000-08:00

Our church inhabits the same building as a bike shop. Rodger the owner has become a friend. Through the last 4 mos. or so I have learned a bit about bicycles and peddling. Bikes have come a long way since the yellow Schwinn Stingray I owned as a kid. I used to run but my body rebelled. Biking is low impact and good for the heart, lungs and body in general. I'd like to start biking but no bike. My goal was to have the money saved for a nice bike (Rodger and I worked a deal) by December. Oh well, life happens! My new goal is next December. I'll find a fun way to exercise until then. Walking isn't so bad . The anticipation is exciting. It'll happen.
There was a time when this bike thing would have bugged me . It's awesome how God matures us. Now I look forward to when it will happen. Years ago I would be sulking. Stuff doesn't mean much any more. AND THAT'S A GOOD THING !
Go Big !

Blogging Or Long Sermons ?

2005-11-28T09:05:00.000-08:00

I think that there may be a correlation between my absence from blogging and the length of my sermons. For those of you who survived the"Rip Van Winkle" sermon yesterday, you know what I mean. I think that I have too many words backed up in in that theological footlocker that I humbly call my brain . I will blog daily as to balance the amount of words that I use in my sermon. Actually I just happened to have lots to say. Some of it even relevant. Stay tuned. I have some fun topics coming. Plus I have found the answer to my loathing of top 10 list.
gbgh

So About the Eye Patch Thing

2005-11-09T08:25:00.000-08:00

In a recent blog entry I mentioned an I eye patch phobia that I have had in the past. I think I should explain it so you will know how to pray for me. Not that any of the 3 people who look at this thing might think me nuts or anything.
Okay. It started in a barber shop around 1970. After the haircut Gil (barber/bookie) would give me a piece Bazooka bubblegum. Gil was my favorite person for a long time. I wasn't his favorite though. I wiggled a lot and drove him crazy. He would always take a pill as soon as I would walk in the the shop. Anyway, I loved the gum but one day my dad saw that I had been throwing the wrapper and told me that I was throwing away the comic strip. I had seen it but never unfolded because I saw that there were words on it and anything with words was not welcome to my eyesight at age six (couldn't really read til much later). So I opened the comic and there was Bazooka Joe. HE HAD A PATCH ON HIS EYE! He was a little boy like me WITH A PATCH ON HIS EYE. Where were this kids parents that such thing could happen ! I hated that my father showed me the comic strip. He sealed my fate. I was convinced that I would lose an eye. And I would have to wear a patch because my parents were never going to spring for a cool glass eye. They wouldn't even buy me super elastic bubble plastic and one of those eyes had to cost more than that. So I figured that I should start working on the replacement eye thing while I still had both of them in my head. So I stared a small collection of things that could work as a spare eye in pinch. Super balls were a logical choice (just about the perfect size) but color and pattern were a problem. A swirly pattern super ball would not be appropriate for church. I could never find a steel ball bearing the right size. That would be the ultimate fake eyeball. Highly polished and very intimidating. I made some out of clay and playdough too. Playdough was not acceptable cuz it dried funky .I actually thought about a snow globe type eyeball before it was mentioned in "the world according to Garp". As you can tell i SPENT ALOT A TIME on this. I couldn't stand the fact the I was going to have to wear a patch the rest of my life. But I'm better now -REALLY! Just don't ask me where the collection is now.

Righteous Monkey

2005-11-07T08:29:00.000-08:00

In my sermon yesterday I told of an African saying. "On the day a monkey dies a every vine in the jungle is slippery. That's really about an unrighteous monkey. At the day of judgment it will be too late for those with no faith in Christ and there is no escaping it. Kinda sounds mean huh but really it's not. Would you wanna hang out for eternity with someone that you gave your life for but they never recognized your grace and generosity.
But as for the "Righteous Monkies "they get to hang out with Jesus for forever. They don't deserve it to any more the the other monkies but they recognize and have faith in their Savior. No slippery vines for the "Righteous Monkies". So all you righteous monkies Swing Big or Slip.
Do you think there will be bananas is heaven?
More on this later.

Destitute Liver

2005-11-06T23:52:00.000-08:00

There was a time in the English language when "liver" was used to describe the temper and integrity of a person . Most of us have heard the saying "lilly livered" which basically means cowardly. Back in the day , say six or so centuries ago people thought that the force of ones liver fortified them with a degree of boldness and integrity. I've have been looking for a way to describe some people who frustrate me. And thanks to Carsten's blog challenge I think that I've found it. "Destitute Livered Skallywags" is my new term. I really don't know what the heck a skallywag is but I like sounding like a pirate. But I would never wear the eye patch (this is another phobia of mine and I'm sure Mrs. Priest will blogging about it in the near future). Anyway, the definition of Destitute Livered Skallywag is - a person lacking integrity and honesty. Destitute means lacking or impoverished so I think it works .
top 9 list of people who I believe to be Destitute Livered Skallywags
9. Most lawyers
8. People who get Handicapped parking permits and don't really need them.
7. Cheaters
6. Poachers
5. People who eat grapes and cherries in the grocery store and never buy them.
4. Teachers who give kids bad grades because because they don't like them (I didn't to believe that it's true but it is).
3. Men who get married while on death row (for some reason this drives me nuts)
2. The Masked Magician.
1. Warren Beatty

Platinum Tuba

2005-10-27T07:38:00.000-07:00

When I was in High School I went through an equipment phase. No matter what I did whether it was playing the guitar, pole vaulting, or brushing my teeth, I needed to have the best, most expensive equipment. At the time I didn't understand why, and I didn't care to know why, I just wanted to have the best. Keeping in mind that I grew up in a middle class family and had parents that were pretty much minimalists, the whole expensive and best quality thing didn't sit well with them. In fact, it used to really tick off my dad.

After crying to my father time after time in an attempt to get him to purchase a $700 guitar for me because it's what I really needed to play well, he went through the litany of all the things I had purchased or begged for and how they sat and collected dust, which really didn't phase me. I remember this one sentence that he actually screamed at me, "RICHARD, IF YOU PLAYED THE DAMN TUBA, YOU'D WANT ONE MADE OUT OF PLATINUM!"

I think this was meant to shame me. But at 17 years old, I thought to myself, "a platinum tuba? cool!"

Now, at 41 years old, I understand why I wanted the best equipment. It was because of my own shortcomings, or how I perceived my own shortcomings. I didn't put a lot of weight in my own skill or ability, and in my heart never thought I'd be much of a guitar player or a very good pole vaulter, but I persuaded myself that if I had a Gibson Les Paul that cost $700, or if I had the brand new, laboratory made pole vaulting shoes, these would elevate me to a level that I couldn't get to by myself.

Now I find myself serving a parish that meets in the chapel of an old mortuary (no longer functioning as a mortuary). We meagerly get by financially but God is rocking and blessing our church. If we were to have a $3 million building, state of the art music equipment, and thousands of dollars of church wares like chasubles and expensive chalices and things, God's blessing wouldn't be much different. In fact, I don't believe it would be different at all. We have the most essential thing: we have faith in the God that we worship, and he is blessing us. Eventually we will have all those things.

I no longer want a platinum tuba. I am very content playing the one that is a little tarnished and well dented.

This was actually a blog challenge from Cody and Carsten. As soon as I heard they were challenging me to write on platinum tuba, I smiled. I thank God for having a father that has said some of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard in my life. Who would have ever thought his platinum tuba analogy would come in handy?

I wish I would have known as a teenager that it's God that equips and that more emphasis on diligence and practice would help a lot more than a closet full of equipment.

GO BIG OR GO HOME!!

The Ministerial Odd Couple

2005-10-26T10:22:00.000-07:00

God does indeed have a sense of humor . Look at these two characters. On the left Charles"Rafiki" Miller and right Rich "Fr. Bonzo" Maciejewski.Who would ever believe that God would allow two absolutely different men to be such good friends for the last 10 years. Charley likes coffee. I don't like coffee and just recently got over my phobia of drinking any kind of brown liquid. Charley 's personal eating menu is comprised of about 14 things. I on the other hand eat anything that doesn't eat me first.Charley is very selective about hugging and touch in general. I have not yet met the man that I can not hug. Charley is thoughtful and reserved. I am neither thoughtful or reserved. Charley said that I'm the type of person that never had a feeling that I didn't express and he on the other hand is still working on stuff from the second grade.
We differ any flavor of Christianity as well. Charley believes that all the standing, sitting and kneeling us catholic types do is OK for us but pretty he much prefers one posture for worship. Charley likes a Church that looks and acts in manner that regular people today can find nonintimidating. I'm thinkin' "what's so intimidating about a guy wearing a dress in worship service?" And we kind dress differently in general (the pics shown above are examples of typical day wear for each of us).
We don't agree on a lot stuff but what we agree on is what makes us good together. Jesus is the foundation of our relationship. He's the major reason we ever built such a friendship. Read the above and you'll find that on the surface we don't have that much in common . Through the years we've traded roles in our friendship . Brother, jokester, counselor, confidant and soundboard are just a few of those movable roles. That's why our friendship works.
I pray that all who read this will have one friendship in their lives as healthy and good as the one I have with Pastor Rafiki (Charley).
You'll have to ask Charley about the evolution of our nicknames.

The Color Pink

2005-10-25T19:38:00.000-07:00

Pink is a favorite color of mine. And I'm not the least bit intimidated by it whether it inhabits a piece of clothing or is the ingredient of a blog challenge as it is today.
The color pink was actually the topic of a lengthy study in the late 70's and early 80's. It was found to lessen aggressive tendencies in individuals who were prone to violent outbursts. Pink has been considered by most people to be a feminine color. I don't understand that. I think it's wrong. By the laws of nature that God has set forth Pink should be masculine. In the animal kingdom the male of the species is almost always the most beautifully arrayed.
It's high time that men take back this beautiful color. In fact, I will lead by example. Starting this Sunday some of the servers namely the W/o.R.M.s will darn PINK surplices. Pink and black, that's a nice combo. I will wear my standard drab Liturgical colors to morn the fact the pink is not yet fully socially acceptable. But within a few years I am sure that the W/o.R.M.s will have had some impact on the world's perception of the color pink and at that time they will where PINK cassocks as well.
This non violent revolution shall start promptly. These brave men may be martyred for their cause. Pray for them. This may elevate some to Sainthood. The PINK MARTYRS.
Did I say I would lead by example or make example of...? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Next challenge PLEASE!
Go Big and Go PINK

Hairy

2005-10-18T22:00:00.000-07:00

This is a blog challenge from my wife. She has chosen the title "Hairy". I think she's being a bit vindictive about my initial challenge. Whatever.
Soon as "Hairy" flowed from her lips I was transported back to 1970. My Dad used to sing this song to me and my brothers.

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear - Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair - Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy,was he ?

At 41 I don't have the hair that I used to but that really doesn't bug me. I was once asked by a young lady in my youth group if it bothered me to lose my hair. She had some issues with me losing my hair for some odd reason. I replied that I was more concerned about losing my mind than my hair. She laughed. But I was serious. Losing my hair is the least of my problems .

But now I have a hair issue that does concern me .And I think there may be a demonic component to it. So I don't care about losing my hair . This scores one for the good guys against the vanity team. But can Evil take a loss like a good sport . Nooooooooo. Satan and his minions aren't satisfied when eminent baldness does not pre-occupy the pursued victim. Guess what they do now . Ironic consequence! They make it so hair grows in every place that it is not supposed to .
OK , baldness didn't get to me but this does . I am using depillitation (dehairifying) techniques that are unspeakable. You don't even want to know where. My eyebrows, if left to their own devices for more than a few days will take over my whole forehead. The ears make me emotional if I try to describe them so I won't.

Good thing I'm a Christian and see myself through the eyes of a Loving father and not my own .If I was to weigh God's love for me by having the correct amount of hair in the correct places I wouldn't think God loved me very much right now.

But my perception of myself is too easily twisted by vanity . That's what's great about Jesus . He doesn't care about that stuff . Stinky, hairy, chubby, stuttering, short, whatever--JESUS LOVES ME. HE JUST PLAIN LOVES ME .

It makes turning into a werewolf a whole lot easier.

Go big (and could you please buy me some Nair tm while you're out)

ADD ( LIFE IN APOLOGY )

2005-10-17T09:22:00.000-07:00

"I'm sorry" I think those were the first words that I ever spoke. Being born with with a porous memory and the inability to linearly arrange thought in ones mind makes for having to say sorry more than the average toy on the shelf. Dyslexia didn't help. I couldn't remember the order of simple procedures so I did things wrong all the time. I got in trouble a lot because of breaking rules or objects or forgetting something. I'm not writing this so I can be pitied for my sad and meager childhood. My childhood was fine. Everyone has there portion of suffering one way or another.
The reason I write this at all is that there is this little boy I know who reminds me of myself alot. I see him quite often. I see that he also lives the apologetic life. But I don't feel sorry him. He has good parents that are turning his disability into an asset. I see them praising his strengths and working with him on his deficits. And he can be a trial sometimes. But I see a tenderness that you don't see in all kids. He seems to accept other peoples flaws without a thought. And I know why. Kids know when there just a bit different. I knew. With ADD, a kid looks totally normal but inside there is utter chaos. After a while you know that the world inside you and the world outside of you aren't that compatible. You don't look like the rest of the broken eggs but you know you are one. So when you see a another kids that's flawed you have compassion. As a kid I couldn't understand if a person could see that someone needed a friend why you wouldn't want to be that friend. While other kids made fun I made friends. I never told anyone that I felt just like the retarded kid or club foot guy. I just made friends.
I pray that his (the little boy I spoke of ) compassion will always stay with him. He will have to say sorry for a lot of things in his life but when he sees God face to face he won't have to say "I'm sorry I didn't love your people". That little boy is gonna love a bunch of people to Jesus. I wish we all would.
Go Big and love some people today.