Teenaged Daughters and Wacko Fathers
My Father had three sons I am the eldest. He used to say that the devil owed him a debt and paid him off in sons. I think he meant that negatively. I have three daughters and a son. Two of those daughters are teenagers, the other one just thinks she's one. We have entered a time in the Mski house where language doesn't work. At least for me. I speak and it is either misinterpreted or ignored. Example "please take out the trash" - ignored - 10 mins later "please take out the trash" - ignored- 1 hour later-"hey , take out the trash" - ignored- 20 mins later "Take out the damn trash!" a shocked teenage girl replies- "why are you yelling at me, I was just going to take it out."
OK - I'm a flawed man about this there is no doubt - but there is something wrong with this. It is becoming ever increasingly difficult to live in a house where I am wrong no matter what I say. If I tell the teenage daughter she looks pretty she gets mad. If I tell her that the pants look small I am told with tears in eyes that I always saying she's fat. They say it's a phase.
I think I'm going through a phase too. Why do I have the need to say something to them all the time. It's as if I feel my parenting is coming to an end very soon and I have to impart as much wisdom as possible before they leave us. Weird ! It's like I am compelled to say something that will be misconstrued. Or I get hurt that they won't talk to me about every little thing.
My superiors have called me "A Very Gifted Counselor". Oh Doctor heal thy self! In my relationship with my girls I make every mistake a counselor /spiritual director can. The most blatant is that I have a need to be understood, honored and loved. In the counseling it's about others and their need. With the daughter it is too often how they are failing the expectations of the king of the house. Sheesh - I just read what I wrote -
I might have to take some responsibility in this toxic rumba that I dance with my daughters - ARRRRGGG!
Oh well, pray for me a sinner and for two of the most awesome young women on the planet - my girls.
posted by Father Rich at 7:13 AM
4 Comments:
where was it that a prophet is never honored?
Think of this time as a longterm saving account. The payoff comes when they have their own daughters and time to reflect.
hang in there...
Oh, the teenage years. I remember them...with pain. EVERYTHING was a big deal. No, a huge deal. This too, shall pass. They won't be teenagers forever, it just seems like it. They will survive this and so will you. And, it is so much easier to fix other peoples problems than your own. I could clean anybody's house, but not mine. Mine is a wreck. Your girls will get past the teenage years...and will thank you for being there and understanding, even if right now you are thinking, "Huh?" We all survived. They will, too. And so will you. :-)
you won't die! I love my dad so much even though sometimes I did not understand WHAT IN THE WORLD he was saying to me. my sister felt the same way. But, we got through it. I couldn't imagine having any other dad but him.
Whatever doesn't kill you maims you and leaves you horribly scarred.
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