Remembering A Hard time

There was a time in my ministry that I used to wish I could erase. It was a painful time filled with feelings of abandonment and anger towards others in ministry. For about 18mos I served with no joy what so ever. I had committed my life to this and was it. Who said I had to be joyful ? I did my job - people got served - no problem. Oh -BIG PROBLEM ! I WAS DISOBEDIENT! Philippians 4:4-7 says to rejoice and have no anxiety about anything. Yet I did not rejoice in anything and was anxious in all things. Could it be I lost focus ? In retrospect, some people just weren't telling me how great I was and recognizing my service. HMMMMM- It's not like I was being martyred or anything. Then what was my real problem ? ---------------HUMILITY! crud I thought that I was still living in the presence of the Lord after all He says He will never leave me or forsake me, right ? But then I read Psalms 16:11 it says that in the Lords presence is the fullness of joy. I was joyless for those 18 mos. I had left the presence of the Lord TO BE THE GUEST OF HONOR AT MY OWN PITY PARTY. I lacked humility. I was not serving just because I loved Jesus. I wanted recognition and praise. Those two pieces of scripture ministered to me. And litany of humility changed my life. Here it is, let it change you. Really it's letting Jesus change you. http://www.rc.net/wcc/humility.htm
GO BIG OR GO HOME !